Something Real to Cling To
by Shedemei
Summary: Blind Mag loses her eyes, but survives the Genetic Opera. Without her father, Shilo is forced to lean on her wounded godmother and the graverobber who has an inexplicable interest in her. Shilo/GR, Shilo/Mag. COMPLETE. Reviews much appreciated!
1. Goth Opera

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter One: Goth Opera

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber

Author's Notes: This is my first Repo fic. I cried when Mag died, and I have a penchant for writing fix fics to keep my favorite characters alive. This might have something to do with the fact that my favorite characters have a penchant for dying horribly.

* * *

Shilo pressed her face into her knees, fighting back tears. She was seventeen years old (it had sounded so mature earlier that day—but she felt so young and helpless now!), weighed barely a hundred pounds…and Rotti Largo expected to take down a crazed, dangerous Repo Man all by herself. Granted, he was about to cure her lifelong illness, of course he would want her to repay him for that in some way, and he must know she had no money of her own…but still, she wished that Rotti had assigned her a less daunting task.

A familiar name reached her ears and her head jerked up. An announcer was proclaiming that it was Blind Mag's turn to sing. But Amber Sweet had just been performing; was she finished already?

Shilo thought she could barely hear a few introductory notes being played on a harpsichord, and then came the familiar light, lovely voice Shilo had admired for so long. Yes, Mag was performing. Blind Mag, Shilo's godmother, who had risked angering GeneCo when she was already marked for repossession to meet Shilo only once, who Shilo desperately wanted to live…

Already marked for repossession…

A thought struck Shilo so violently she almost flinched. She was supposed to be tracking down a Repo Man. Mag was to have her eyes taken after her final song. If the Repo Man had gone rogue and abandoned GeneCo, he might not be the one who was to repossess Blind Mag's eyes…but then again he might be.

Shilo leapt to her feet and hurried to the stage. As she grew closer, the velvet strains of Mag's song grew louder. A thin sheet of light shone from stage right, and it seemed to grow as Shilo approached it, and then she could see the silhouette of Rotti Largo. Why was he watching from the stage? He should have been in the audience. Shilo sidled up beside him and Mag's voice filled her ears. She had heard that voice so many times, on TV and on recordings…but that was nothing compared to hearing it up close. Shilo gazed up at her idol as she was lifted up by a harness, arms spread out almost as if she were nailed onto a crucifix. As Shilo watched, Mag suddenly whipped her head to the side—a most uncharacteristic gesture for the always composed singer—and looked at Rotti. No, she _glared _at Rotti. Shilo herself came close to flinching at the intensity of Mag's ice-blue synthetic glower…and her heart almost stopped at Mag's next words.

"Come take these eyes…I would rather be blind!"

Blind Mag dug two long, claw-like decorations attached to her index fingers into her eye sockets and blood gouted from the wounds. She wrenched out the round white blood-drenched eyeballs and held her arms to the ceiling, grinning obscenely, almost victoriously.

Shilo screamed.

Rotti whirled on her, shocked. "What are you doing here?"

The first coherent thought Shilo could form was "Get Mag down!"

For a moment, Rotti's face darkened in a way that made Shilo cringe again, but he took hold of a lever and pulled it, causing Mag's harness to be lowered slowly. Shilo raced onto the stage, reaching up to Blind Mag, helping her to the floor while avoiding the spiked fence. There were rivulets of water pouring down Shilo's face and she didn't know how they got there. "Mag! Mag! Why did you do it? Why?"

Mag sank to the stage, with Shilo's arms still wrapped around her midsection. Shilo had her face pressed into Mag's shoulder, sobbing. Though she had only heard it once, Blind Mag recognized the voice. "Shilo? What are you doing here?" Her voice was strained and thin with pain.

"I c-couldn't let the Repo Man get to you!"

The curtain fell, shielding Mag and Shilo from the eyes of the audience. Shilo heard Rotti's voice, talking about an encore. Shilo made as if to help Mag to her feet.

"Shilo…leave me here."

"What!"

"Rotti will have me killed, no matter what you do." Mag's voice was soft now, resigned.

"But why? You t-took your own eyes out, and that's what they wanted! Your eyes!"

Mag's hand reached up for Shilo's face and found it after a few seconds of fumbling. "No, Shilo, it isn't that GeneCo wants my eyes back. It's that Rotti wants my life."

Shilo tugged on Mag's arm, trying to get her to stand. "I can help you! Please, come with me!"

Blind Mag moaned in pain as she stood, leaning on Shilo. "I'm a dead woman walking, little one. Please don't be too upset if you see me cut down in front of you."

"Don't talk like that," Shilo cried, leading Mag offstage. "Please." They reached the room where Shilo had been waiting for Repo Man and had set up a trap; the gown and headdress she had been wearing, draped over a chair to look like she was sitting there. Shilo sat Mag down in a small alcove where Shilo had planned to wait for the Repo Man. "You'll be all right! Once I bring the rogue Repo Man to Rotti, I'll talk to him…"

"You've made a deal with Rotti?" Mag's voice rose in panic, or perhaps it was only the pain of her eyes being ripped out. "You can't trust him, Shilo! I came to your home to warn you to never be involved with GeneCo! Please, for your own sake…whatever it is Rotti asked of you, don't do it. He is…evil."

Shilo sat in conflicted agony for a moment. Was it true that Rotti wanted Mag dead regardless of who was in possession of her eyes? But Rotti had offered her a cure to her blood disease…and Shilo would do anything to be rid of the illness that made her so weak. After she had her cure, she would never associate with GeneCo again. "It will be fine. I promise. Stay here; I'll come back for you. You can hide at my house."

As Shilo moved to get up, Mag grasped at her, managing to get a hold on one of Shilo's arms. Surprised, Shilo fell backward into a crushing embrace. "I promised your mother I'd take care of you." Mag squeezed Shilo with strength Shilo wouldn't have expected. "My goddaughter…please be careful. If I don't live to see you again, please take care of yourself."

Shilo remembered when her blood disease had caused her physical pain, her father would let her squeeze his hand, and that made the pain a little better. She reasoned that that was why Mag was holding her tightly and stayed in the embrace for a while, hoping she could help lessen Mag's suffering, for how terribly must it hurt to tear out one's eyes?

Blind Mag, the famous singer, the voice of GeneCo, the celebrity who Shilo had long admired, was clinging to Shilo in agony and calling her her goddaughter. It was such a strange and disquieting change that Shilo didn't even want to think about it.

She heard movement behind her. "Stay here," Shilo whispered to Mag and slipped free of the embrace. Sure enough, there was the Repo Man, reaching for Shilo's headdress. Barely thinking of what she was doing, Shilo seized a shovel she had found—it must have been a prop for one show; why else would it be in the opera house?—and swung it. She was tiny, and there wasn't much force behind the swing, but the back of the blade struck the Repo Man's helmet with a _thunk_. He fell, he yanked of his helmet…and for the second time that night, Shilo felt so shocked that she worried her illness might overcome her.

The man in the Repo Man suit was none other than her father.

He seemed not to be able to look at her. Instead, he spoke. "Didn't I tell you not to go out, didn't I?"

Shilo felt her throat grow thick with sadness. "You did. You did."

"Didn't I say the world was cruel, didn't I?"

Shilo choked back a sob. Her father was a Repo Man, a heartless killer who cut pieces out of living people for money. Had he been the one who was assigned to repossess Mag's eyes? Was that why he had refused to help Mag? Oh, yes, the world was indeed cruel! "You did, you did…"

Shilo felt as if the might vomit as the man dressed in the uniform of a legal murderer begged her to go home with him and forget everything that had happened—that he was a Repo Man, not a doctor! How could she simply smile and agree knowing that her father was a slaughterer, and that he had lied to her about it?

Her sadness turning to anger—anger was stronger than sadness, and made her feel less helpless—she shoved the man who she no longer accepted as her father, flung his helmet at him, and raced to the stage where Rotti would give her her cure.

She heard her father following her, she saw black-clad GeneCo employees rushing to apprehend him as she ran. Behind her she could hear the sickening sound of a blade singing through the air and impacting flesh, but she didn't stop until she had reached the stage.

Rotti was waiting for her. His two sons stood some distance behind him. Shilo stood next to him and waited; he gave her a benevolent smile as the Repo Man rushed onto the stage, quickly incapacitating two of Rotti's bodyguards. "Well done, Shilo," said Rotti.

The Repo Man, an expression of cold rage marring his features, moved toward Rotti…but then one of Rotti's sons lunged forward and slashed at the Repo Man's leg with a knife. The man shouted, blood spurted forth as he fell, and suddenly he was Nathan Wallace again, vulnerable and wounded.

"Dad!" Shilo shouted.

Rotti laid a hand on Shilo's shoulder. "You've exceeded my greatest expectations."

An almost choking phlegm rose in Shilo's throat; she coughed lightly to clear it. All she wanted was her cure, and then she could walk away from GeneCo just as Mag had told her. "I just want to get my cure." And yet… "But…he's my father."

"Ah, but he hid his Repo life from you, didn't he? There are other things he's hidden from you!"

Nathan looked up at Shilo pleadingly. "Shilo, please…"

"Dad…I no longer trust you."

"Did you know he killed your mother?" Rotti's voice came again, almost snarling. The words felt like a blow to Shilo. Her father had _killed _her mother? But he had adored her!

"That was just an accident!" cried Nathan.

Shilo swallowed hard. Her father had lied to her about being a Repo Man…but he wouldn't have deliberately killed his wife. "And that's not his greatest fib," Rotti hissed, enjoying the words.

"What?" Shilo whispered. What else could her father have hidden from her?

"Shilo," Nathan choked. "Don't listen to him. Can't we just go home? I can explain…"

"No! What is it?" Shilo shouted.

"Tell her! Tell her!" Rotti exhorted, pointing a sausage-like finger at Nathan. Rotti's sons joined in, and even the audience, rising to their feet.

"Tell me!" Shilo echoed, almost not wanting to know what other terrible things her father could have done. But Nathan hung his head and said nothing.

Almost glorying in the words, Rotti spoke for him. "May I introduce you to the man who made you sick? He's poisoned all your medicine."

That was too much. Shilo dropped to her knees in anguish. Her father was a murderer, a betrayer…and he was the cause of all her sickness. "No…"

"Shilo, forgive me!" Nathan howled. But she didn't hear him. Her mind, not to mention her frail body, could only take so much. She felt her heart race, impossibly fast and irregular, her lungs spasm…and mercifully, everything went black.

Shilo always woke disoriented after she had fainted. This time, she felt as if she had relived the entire past week in ten seconds. She blinked and struggled to her feet, praying that she had only dreamed the image of her father's leg being slashed by Rotti Largo's son. Then Rotti was supporting her with an arm around her shoulders, talking to her. "Your mother once promised her love to me. Had she never fled, you would be mine."

Was that true? Had Shilo's mother been involved with Rotti? But Mag had been Shilo's mother's best friend, and she swore that Rotti was coldhearted…surely Mag would have objected…

"Deny your father now for the world to see!" Rotti encouraged, extending an arm to the audience. Then he reached into a pocket and withdrew an object so unexpected that it took Shilo a few seconds to realize what it was. It was…a pistol? "Kill him!"

"What?" Shilo gasped. From the audience, she thought she heard the Largo boy who had attacked her father holler back:

"Kill him!"

Rotti saw Shilo's terror and his fatherly smile returned. "And I'll leave you GeneCo." He pushed the pistol into her hand. It felt heavy and completely wrong in her tiny hand.

"You want to…pay me to…kill my father?" Shilo cried. She looked at Rotti's smile, at her father, now helpless in a wheelchair on stage right…and she flung the gun down at Rotti's feet. "I'm not a murderer!"

Rotti picked up the gun and lifted it as if he intended to fire a bullet into the ceiling. "But you share your dad's genetics…what if he passed this to you?" Rotti proffered the pistol again. Shilo stared at it as if she feared it would bite her.

"I don't have to share his choices!"

Rotti glowered. "Didn't you say you were infected? Didn't you?"

Yes, she had said that…to herself, in the privacy of her own room. Her father hadn't heard her. How could Rotti have known she said that? Unless…

Unless Rotti had been spying on her. Mag had said he was untrustworthy; Shilo had even seen him claim he owned her…and now he was trying to make Shilo kill her father. What wouldn't he do to control the people around him?

Shilo's father cried out in anguish then. "I poisoned you! I'm worse than Rotti…imprisoned you! I couldn't lose you…what have I done? Forgive me, Shilo, I drugged your blood! Oh God, what have I done to you?"

"You used my mother's death to use my father!" shouted Shilo, for why else would her father become a Repo Man? "You'd use my father's death to use me too!"

Nathan spoke again, obviously hazy with the pain of his leg injury. "Shilo…remember that it's up to you…to shape your life into something worth remembering!"

Rotti's expression grew dark again, twisted, frightening, and in that split second Shilo knew that Mag was exactly right about him being evil. Then he aimed the gun and Shilo realized where it was pointing a millisecond too late. "_No_!"

Nathan crumpled in the wheelchair. "Dad!" Shilo wailed, running to him. She pressed her hands to the wound from every angle she could think of, trying to stanch the bloodflow, but it was useless. The persistent red liquid hissed out from beneath her fingers.

Vaguely, behind her, she heard a sound as a dying Rotti sank to the ground, but it didn't matter; her father was slumping to the ground. She guided him to the stage, clinging to him. Her earlier anger evaporated; all she wanted to do now was forgive him.

"Dad, be still," Shilo sing-songed. "There's nothing you need to say."

"Shi, your mother's calling me," murmured Nathan, his eyes already looking somewhat distant. His face was tranquil, seemingly no longer affected by the pain of his mortal wound. Shilo squeezed his hand tightly.

"I didn't know I'd love you so much," Shilo choked, "…but I do."

Nathan turned his head, making an effort to focus on his daughter. "Sometimes I'd stay up all night…wishing to God that I was the one who died…"

Shilo whimpered.

"…but I didn't know I'd love you so much. I didn't know I'd love you so much, but I do." Nathan—he was all Nathan now, not an inch the Repo Man—closed his eyes. "Shilo, go."

"Dad, I won't leave you here. You will live!"

Shilo's father smiled. "But you've already saved me, dear. And we will always have each other…"

"…in our time of need," Shilo finished with him. "Daddy, you're the world to me."

What strength Nathan had had to lift up his head failed him; his head dropped to Shilo's knee.

"Dad?" Shilo whispered. Then, louder, "Dad?"

Though Shilo had known her father was moribund, the reality that he was dead struck her. Never again would he hug her or say goodnight to her or tell her to take her medicine. She felt tears pouring hotly down her face as she clutched her father's body. Desperate words fell from her lips unbidden. "Dad, no, get up…please get up…"

The audience murmured in the background while Shilo wept, but she couldn't hear them. All she heard was the sound of her own sobs, muffled against the dead Nathan's chest. When she was finally spent, she sat up, shaking, looking at her father's corpse, realizing that his death meant something other than tragedy.

"Years," she whispered to herself. "It's been so many years…"

All her life, she had resented the blood disease she had inherited from her mother, cursed her heredity every day. But she hadn't inherited the disease from her mother, had she? Her illness had been caused by her father in order to keep her from the cruelties of the world. As long as she never took her "medicine" again, she would be healthy. In a twisted way, Rotti Largo had cured her. She was free of her disease.

"Free…at last," she murmured. On unsteady legs, she walked off the stage, carried primarily from her liberty from her genetic destiny.

But now what? Go back to her house, and…do what? She still knew almost nothing about the world outside her bedroom. And she had no money, unless her father's money would go to her. And now that her father was dead…

Though she still had a guardian, didn't she? Blind Mag. Her godmother. Who was still backstage in the prop room where Shilo had confronted her father, bleeding from empty eye sockets. Shilo raced to the room, where Mag was slumped against the wall. Her eyelids were puckered inwards over her eye sockets and she wasn't moving.

"Mag?" Shilo went to her godmother's side. Mag was breathing quickly and shallowly, and did not respond when Shilo laid a hand on her shoulder. She was probably falling unconscious due to the pain of her injuries, or else she was going into shock. Shilo took both of Mag's hands and squeezed. "Mag?"

Mag stirred a little. "Shilo?" Her voice was weak.

Shilo said Mag's name again, crying a little this time.

"Shilo? What's wrong?"

"Dad," Shilo whispered.

"Nathan? What happened to him?" Mag struggled to sit up straight.

"Rotti shot him." Shilo's voice cracked. "He's dead."

Mag groaned in pain. "I'm not surprised. Poor Nathan."

"Rotti is dead too."

"Good."

Shilo slipped an arm around Mag, trying to get her to her feet. Mag managed to stand, whimpering. "It hurts."

"We can get you to my house. There are painkillers there."

Blind Mag said nothing, just walked with Shilo in silence until they reached the limousine that had brought Shilo to the opera; she had asked the driver to wait for her. She helped Mag into the car; Mag lay down on the seat. Shilo almost hoped Mag would actually pass out so she wouldn't feel any more pain.

"Take me home, please," said Shilo to the driver, who started the car and said nothing. Mag whined as the car ran over a rough spot in the road; Shilo carefully guided her godmother's head into her lap, thinking that might help. She touched Mag's dark hair, which she had long admired. It occurred to Shilo that there had never been any physical contact between her and Mag before that day; at the same time the previous night, Shilo would have still thought of Blind Mag as the incredibly talented, composed, beautiful singer who Shilo idolized and longed to meet. Now Mag was her godmother, badly injured, and having her hair stroked by Shilo. But as Shilo trailed her fingers over Mag's scalp, she couldn't help but think it felt right. After all, Mag was all Shilo had now. And if GeneCo wanted their former voice dead, then Blind Mag had lost her livelihood and would need Shilo to protect her. Except Shilo couldn't imagine protecting anybody by herself.

Presently the limo reached the Wallace residence. Blind Mag was barely conscious; Shilo was too small to carry her and had to wake her up (so to speak) so they could walk together into the house. Shilo managed to get Mag to her bedroom to lie down.

"Shilo? You said you had painkillers?" Mag's voice was so strained Shilo could barely hear her.

"I'll be right back!"

Shilo rushed downstairs. She had explored the rest of the house a bit when her father had been working, despite the fact that she usually left her room to collect insects in the graveyard. She knew enough to be able to fetch the acetaminophen/codeine pills that had always worked for her worst pains from a certain cabinet in the kitchen. She dashed back up to Blind Mag and offered her two pills (twice the recommended dose, but Shilo figured Mag needed it) and a glass of water. Mag was able to sit up long enough to take the pills.

"It should kick in soon," said Shilo.

"Thank you, Shilo. Thank you." Mag reached for Shilo, her hand moving through empty air for a bit until her palm found Shilo's cheek. Shilo could tell that Mag was trying to thank her not just for the medicine, but for keeping her from any GeneCo employees who had been assigned to kill her and for bringing her to the house.

It wasn't long before Mag had fallen asleep. The codeine had always been very effective at knocking Shilo out as well. She changed into a nightgown and climbed into bed, but she couldn't help but think that Mag couldn't sleep comfortably in her costume, especially when the codeine wore off. So Shilo dug through her wardrobe to find the longest nightgown she had and set about changing Mag into it. She hesitated at first; surely it would be disrespectful to undress Mag. But…she was badly injured and the most important thing was that she was comfortable. So Shilo carefully turned Blind Mag onto her stomach, unfastened the corset that was part of her dress, and peeled off the costume. Much to Shilo's relief, Mag was wearing undergarments beneath the dress.

A few moments later, Shilo had successfully gotten the nightgown onto Mag's thin body and buttoned it up. She was still wearing a pair of tights, but Shilo felt it was inappropriate to remove those. Shilo briefly got up to turn off the lights, and then carefully covered her godmother with the sheets.

Shilo was exhausted, but couldn't sleep. How could she, after so many disquieting events had happened that day? She had been offered a cure to her lifelong illness, found out the singer she had idolized was her godmother, discovered horrible secrets about her father and been almost forced to kill him, seen her godmother tear her own eyes out…and her father had died in her arms. The thought brought tears springing back to her eyes. "Dad…" Shilo choked into the darkness. She felt the hot salty water leaving trails from her eyes to her temples and heard the nighttime air swallow up her light sobs.

She turned onto her side and wrapped her arms around the only person left who mattered; her god-mom, Blind Mag. Shilo nestled her face against Mag's shoulder and wept herself to sleep.

* * *

A/N: I hope the Shilo Pinball scene didn't feel too rushed; I just didn't want to bore everyone who had seen the film with a rehash of what we all know happened.

Also, this story is definitely going to end up Graverobber/Shilo, but there might be other pairings too…we'll see what my muses think.

Oh, and by the way, _Sweeney Todd _is my main fandom, so if there are any Sweeney fans out there who liked this chapter and would like to read my let's-have-fewer-people-dead-at-the-end Sweeney fics, please check them out : )


	2. A Little Help With the Agony

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Two: A Little Help With the Agony

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: Okay, I lied about the pairings in the first chapter. This story was originally going to have only hints of Shilo/Mag, partly because some of Shilo's behavior in the movie towards Mag screams "celebrity crush" to me…but my muses disagreed with the "only hints" idea. I hate it when my brain has a mind of its own.

* * *

Shilo was woken from eye-ripping, blood-dripping nightmares by a low cry of pain. The effects of the acetaminophen/codeine only lasted for eight hours, and now Mag was awake. "Shilo?" Her voice was hoarse; her arms tightened around the girl.

"I'm here, Mag. Does it hurt?"

Mag's hands closed on Shilo's arms so hard Shilo yelped. "I need more medicine."

Shilo swallowed. "I can get you some."

"Hurry."

Shilo hugged Mag tightly. "I will. But you need something that won't just knock you out. You can't just sleep."

"I know you're right, but I would take more sleep right now," Mag whispered through clenched teeth.

_I can only imagine the pain she's in_, Shilo thought, shivering. "I'll be fast."

Mag only nodded, concentrating on not crying out.

Shilo hurried to dress as quickly as she could. She knew that the only painkiller kept in the house that was strong enough for Mag was the codeine, and Mag couldn't simply be asleep until her eye sockets healed. She needed something more powerful than anything Shilo had that wouldn't knock her out.

She needed Zydrate. And Shilo knew a dealer…if only she could find him. Once she was clothed, she ran to the kitchen to fetch a painkiller made from acetylsalicylic acid for Mag, to take the edge off her pain until Shilo got back.

Shilo thought she remembered the route the sanitation truck had taken from the alley where the Graverobber had been selling Zydrate. Considering she had only been into that part of the city once, it was easy to tell whether or not a street looked familiar, and it wasn't long before she found the alley. She thought she picked out a male silhouette in the shadows… "Graverobber?"

A man who was very much not Graverobber emerged from the darkened corner. Even from that distance, Shilo could see that his pupils were nothing more than tiny black pinpricks. He leered at her. "No, but you lookin' to score, sugar?"

Shilo backed up. "No, I…"

The man didn't get more than a few steps before Graverobber himself stepped out from beneath a fire escape and elbowed the man in the face. The man spluttered and stumbled backwards, blood dripping from his nose. Graverobber stepped forward. "Kid? What are you doing here?"

Shilo clutched her bag to her chest, an instinctive movement of self-defense, still spooked by what had just happened so suddenly. While she hesitated, Graverobber spoke again. "You're lucky it's the morning. You'd have been dead meat if you'd decided to come down here alone at night."

Shilo swallowed hard. "It…it's about Mag."

Graverobber's almost scolding expression softened. "Yeah, you were a big fan, weren't you? She disappeared last night. Nobody knows what happened to her after that for sure."

"I know what happened," Shilo whispered. "She's at my house."

Graverobber walked over to her, now looking puzzled. "How the hell did she end up there?"

Shilo felt heat prickling at her eyes. "I brought here back there after she…she…"

"Tore out her own eyes. It was in _The Daily Slice_. But what possessed her to go with you? She doesn't know you, does she?"

Shilo choked back a sob. "She's my godmother." Tears began to slide down her cheeks and she couldn't think how to stop them. "She's so hurt, she's in so much pain now…"

Through her clouded vision, she didn't see Graverobber approach her even closer, didn't see the changing expression on his face as he made a rather awkward decision, and so was surprised when she found herself abruptly wrapped in a crushing embrace. "Jesus, kid, don't cry. It's okay."

From the way the female Zydrate addicts acted around Graverobber, Shilo could gather that he was probably a skilled lover, but as she was currently finding out, he also gave really good hugs. He squeezed her tightly, like he genuinely meant to comfort her. "She's alive," he added. "The Repo Man would've done far worse."

The mental image of her father taking out Mag's eyes made Shilo's stomach churn; she forced the image to the back of her mind. "She's in a lot of pain. She…she needs Zydrate." Her flow of tears began to slow. "That's why I came. I'm sure she can pay. I mean, she's Blind Mag."

Graverobber let go of Shilo; she felt cold all of a sudden. "She probably needs real Zydrate. Synthesized-in-a-lab Zydrate."

"But it's not like we can get it from GeneCo!" Shilo cried. "The Largos would kill her if they found out. And it would take too long."

Graverobber exhaled slowly through his nose. "Okay. Come with me."

He led her to a car which, to her infinite surprise, was an older model of GeneCop car. When he saw Shilo's startled expression, he shrugged and said "They aren't going to bother me if they think I'm one of them."

Instead of asking how he'd gotten a hold of a GeneCop car for himself, Shilo got in, buckled her seatbelt, and instructed Graverobber on how to get to the Wallace residence. It was a short drive, and Graverobber had barely pulled up to the gate when Shilo leapt from the car and ran for the front door. "Dammit, kid! Don't trip over yourself!"

Shilo waited impatiently for him at the front door—leaving the gate wide open—and unlocked the front door and flew up the steps as soon as Graverobber caught up to her. With a rather irritated sigh, he followed. He saw Shilo rush into a bedroom that was obviously hers, despite the odd décor (a skeleton and an insect collection…not exactly typical for a teenage girl, but interesting) and where Blind Mag was lying on the bed. Graverobber had never seen Mag sing live, but of course he'd seen her on the screens and in magazines, draped in glamorous costumes and glossed in makeup. Seeing her weak, half-conscious and with her eyelids collapsed over empty, blood-rimmed sockets was certainly odd. He could barely overhear what Shilo was saying…

"Mag? Mag, I'm back. I brought you Zydrate." Shilo squeezed Mag's hand.

"Zydrate? How…" Mag tensed as Graverobber walked over. "I hear footsteps."

"It's okay," Shilo insisted. "I brought him. He's…well, he's a grave robber."

"Shilo, you brought a grave robber in here? How do you know he can be trusted?"

"Standing right here," said Graverobber irritably.

"He's helped me before. We can trust him."

"Kid, I'd better show you something." Graverobber beckoned to Shilo, and she followed him to her desk, where he removed a Zydrate gun and several vials of the glowing blue drug from pockets in his long jacket. "You're probably going to be giving her Zydrate for a while, so you'd better learn how to do this. I can loan you one of my Zydrate guns for a small fee. Now watch closely." He held up one of the guns and showed her a small dial on one side. "The highest it can go is two hundred microliters. With street Zydrate, two hundred is the highest dose you can get out of one vial. More than that will kill almost anybody. You don't want Mag tripping balls, so you shouldn't give her anything close to two hundred. Has she ever used before?"

"Once." That was Mag, who was carefully listening to everything that was being said. "Amber injected me with it. It…wasn't by choice."

"So you don't have any tolerance for it, then."

"No."

"Okay…" Graverobber turned back to the Zydrate gun and rotated the dial so it was set to a hundred microliters. "Fifty is probably the minimum dose for minor surgery…but she probably needs more."

"I'd say so," replied Mag dryly.

Shilo nodded.

Graverobber loaded the gun. "Don't worry, kid, it's easy. Just watch." He paused to address Mag. "I'm giving you the Zydrate now." He went to Mag's bedside and made as if to inject the drug into a vein in her leg, like Shilo had seen him do with the Zydrate addicts in the alley. Mag flinched suddenly.

"What are you doing?" Mag recoiled, trying to sit up and gritting her teeth in pain from the movement.

"I said I was going to give you the Zydrate." Graverobber sounded rather annoyed.

Mag held her right arm out, prone with her veins exposed, obviously asking for the injection to be in her arm. Graverobber shrugged. "Veins in the leg are bigger." But he gave her the shot in her outstretched arm. "You're Blind Mag. I know you can afford this."

Mag took a deep breath, letting the painkiller take hold before speaking. "I don't have any money with me now. Shilo took me here straight from the Genetic Opera. But in exchange for this, I can pay you twice the going rate for Zydrate tonight."

Graverobber shrugged. "Won't be necessary."

"I can bring you the money," Shilo piped up.

"I don't want you going out alone, Shilo," said Mag sternly, sitting up. "What's your name?"

The question seemed to startle Graverobber. "I don't use one. Just call me Graverobber."

Shilo had a feeling that if Mag still had eyes, she would be glaring, or at least looking at Graverobber with disdain. "If you would please come back here tonight at eight, I will have money ready for you."

"It's going to be three hundred credits, a hundred and seventy-five of which are for a month-long loan of the Zydrate gun," Graverobber informed her.

Mag nodded. "Thank you."

Shilo squeezed Graverobber's arm. "Yes…thank you."

Graverobber allowed himself a small smile. He would have never pictured himself standing in a rather upscale house after giving a Zydrate injection to Blind Mag, yet that was what he was doing, and it wasn't even ten AM. The day was shaping up to be interesting. "You're welcome."

Shilo climbed onto the bed and hugged Mag. "Do you feel better?"

"Much. A little…sleepy, but it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good," Shilo whispered, resting her head on Mag's shoulder. It was only when she heard the footsteps proceeding down the stairs that she realized she hadn't properly said goodbye to Graverobber. "Wait a second. I'll be right back."

Shilo raced downstairs and caught up with Graverobber just as he was approaching the gate. "Wait!"

He paused. "What is it, kid?"

"I just…I wanted to thank you. We'll get you the money tonight, I promise."

He held up a hand in a conciliatory gesture. "It's okay. I believe you."

"And…thank you for helping. Not just for the Zydrate." Shilo swallowed hard. "I'm…I'm scared."

"Scared? Of what?" Graverobber was facing her now, no longer in the process of leaving.

Shilo blinked rapidly. "Rotti Largo killed my father last night. Before that I'd never left the house except for going to Mom's grave. Now I have Mag, but she's so hurt, and I've never had to do anything like this before, and I'm scared…"

"Hey, kid, calm down." He took her by the shoulders. "Yeah, that does sound scary as hell. The world is scary as hell. But it gets better once you get used to it."

Shilo sniffled. "I know. It's just all so much, so fast…"

Graverobber frowned. Comforting crying young women was not his strong suit. "Do you want some Zydrate?"

Shilo made a sound that could have been a laugh or a sob. "No…no. I don't think it's for me." She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "And…my name's Shilo."

"Shilo," he repeated. "Okay. See you tonight…Shilo." After a brief hesitation, Graverobber took Shilo's left hand and kissed it, then he was out the gate without another word.

Shilo stood there for a few minutes, her knees shaking slightly. Graverobber had blown her a kiss after helping her home from the mock Italian Renaissance festival, and he had given her a hug after she had come to him for Zydrate, but she had assumed that it was nothing more than a passing interest. But now he had seen her fear, seen what she was dealing with…and he still seemed interested. That thought only sunk in as she was finally ascending the stairs, and the first thing that came to her mind after that was: _Dad would never let me see him…_

She gasped aloud at the thought that her father was gone, that he would never forbid her from doing anything again…and now she would have freedom, she would be well soon…but he was still her father, and she still missed him, and the knowledge that he was dead was going to hit her over and over until she fully accepted that he was gone, and how long was that going to take?

Shilo was crying openly when she got back to her bedroom. "Shilo?" Mag was up, and mobile, and walking towards Shilo's voice. Shilo ran to Mag and flung her arms around her, burying her face in the front of the nightgown. Mag hugged Shilo back, rocking her gently. "What's wrong?"

"I miss Dad," Shilo choked.

"I can imagine," Mag sighed. "It's all right, Shilo. Go ahead and cry."

Shilo did, for a long while, and Mag never once complained even when Shilo's tears soaked through the nightdress. When Shilo had stopped weeping, Mag still held her. "Feel better?"

"Yes."

"We should eat. You might feel better with some food in you."

Shilo nodded. She knew where the kitchen was, and she knew how to make a few things; when she had first learned how to pick the lock on her bedroom door started sneaking out of her room while her father was at work (repossessing organs…!), part of the reason for her escape was that she was hungry, and she had learned to work the microwave and the toaster oven.

"I can get you to the kitchen…oh. Should I show you around the house? Teach you where everything is?"

"Please. If you could somehow make a map with raised lines so I can feel them, that would be very helpful too. Right now I'd prefer to eat, if that's all right."

"Okay." Shilo let go of Mag. "The kitchen is downstairs. Do you need me to…?"

Mag extended a hand; Shilo took it. "Your mother used to lead me around like this. Most of my friends did."

"Okay, I can do that." Shilo led Mag downstairs and sat her down at the kitchen table. "What do you like for breakfast? I can't make much; toast, oatmeal, English muffins, or we could have cereal…" she trailed off, walking to the refrigerator.

"Do you have butter or jam for the toast?"

"Yeah; we have peach, grape and strawberry jam."

"Shilo…I'm not used to not having my sight…I don't know if I'll be much help…"

"Oh, it's fine! It's fine. I can make you toast."

"Thank you, Shilo. I don't want to be a burden on you, especially after all you've lost."

"Mag, you're my godmother. You're not a burden." On an impulse, Shilo went back to Mag and hugged her. Mag was a bit surprised—after all, she hadn't seen Shilo coming—but returned the embrace.

"It's good to be here with you." Mag touched Shilo's hair gently, not knowing it was a wig. "It has been a long time since I had somebody to love. I'm…glad I could finally fulfill my promise to your mother to be a part of your life."

"Me too." Shilo took a step backward. "Okay…so do you want toast? What kind of jam?"

"Strawberry, please, Shilo."

Shilo made herself and Mag two pieces of toast each, spreading Mag's toast with strawberry jam and her own with peach. She poured them both glasses of orange juice—her father had always been adamant about her getting enough vitamin C—and sat down to eat. Mag thanked her and set about eating her toast hungrily. Shilo wondered when the last time Mag ate was.

Mag ate steadily until she was halfway through her second piece of toast, then paused. "Shilo?"

"Yes?"

"After we eat, we should go to my house. No doubt GeneCo will soon clean it out and…and sell all my things or some such. I need my clothes, and I have many things there I don't want to part with…"

"Okay. How do we get there?"

Mag paused and took another bite of toast, waiting until she had swallowed to speak again. "You'll have to call a taxi. It's too far to walk, especially if we'll be carrying things. I might be recognized…but that's a risk we'll have to take. Perhaps if I wear a hood…"

"I can find something to bandage your eyes…um, sockets," Shilo offered.

"We should go to the bank first. I can only hope GeneCo hasn't emptied out my account…I'll have to withdraw everything I have. They'll know I did it, but I'm sure they know I'm alive." Mag sighed and held out a hand to Shilo, the way she had when Shilo first offered to lead her down the stairs. Shilo took it. "Shilo, I am afraid I am a danger to you. Technically I have fulfilled my contract with GeneCo by removing my eyes after my last song for them, but I was not intended to survive the repossession, and GeneCo will want me dead now because it was their intention. At least, Rotti wanted me dead. No doubt whoever takes over GeneCo will…want to carry out his wishes. And you may be caught in the crossfire, so to speak, if GeneCo catches up with me. Since the things I have to do today will alert GeneCo to the fact that I'm still…functional, and they may find out where I am staying, so I must exact a promise from you."

"What is it?" asked Shilo, mystified.

Mag's eyelids twitched over their empty sockets. "If GeneCo comes for me, and I tell you to run, to leave me, you must. I would hate to think I caused the death of my innocent goddaughter. I would hate to die with that thought in my head."

"Don't talk like that!" Shilo cried, almost hysterical. "I just lost Dad; I don't want to think about losing you too!"

Mag stroked Shilo's hand. "We'll be careful. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe…by keeping myself hidden."

After they were finished eating, Shilo tore strips from an old dress that didn't fit anymore and fashioned one into a comfortable bandage for Mag. She also braided Mag's hair so it would be easier to hide under a long hooded coat that Shilo had found in a closet. Nathan had also kept most of his late wife's clothes, so Mag was able to wear one of Marni's old dresses. Shilo called a cab company for a ride, and it arrived soon after Mag was dressed.

"Take us to GeneCo Bank, please."

The driver grunted and turned the ignition. Mag and Shilo sat in silence while they drove; Shilo stared out the window, as she had never seen the area of the city where they were driving. She began trembling as she thought of how much she had missed, able to see nothing more of the world than the view from her window; Mag somehow noticed her shaking and took her hand.

When they arrived at the bank, Shilo tried to follow Mag to the ATM. Mag stopped her. "I don't want you on the cameras. Did you bring that bag I asked you to?"

"Yes." Shilo handed her godmother a tote bag.

"Thank you. You can wait in the taxi; I'll only be a moment." Shilo went back to the vehicle and watched through the window as Mag emptied her account and quickly scooped all of the money she had to her name into the bag. Shilo noticed that Mag carefully touched every key on the ATM keyboard before pressing it; were the numbers raised so she could feel them? She slipped back into the car and quickly gave further instructions to the driver.

Mag's house was a good distance from the bank. Shilo actually gasped aloud when they drove up to the gate; GeneCo had given their "voice" a massive, luxurious place to live. Mag's house—more aptly described as a mansion—was sprawling and glossy, surrounded by an impeccably manicured lawn and colorful flower gardens.

"Shilo? Will you help me?"

"Oh—of course."

Shilo held Mag's hand as they walked up to the gate and Mag gave voice authorization for it to open. Shilo led Mag up the long, winding walkway, but Mag stopped her at the front doorway. She quickly shucked off the long, hooded coat and handed it to Shilo. "You should put this on."

"Why?" asked Shilo, mystified.

"There are cameras and microphones everywhere in here. I don't want them to see that you're with me. And if you want to talk to me, whisper."

"Cameras and microphones?" Shilo repeated, incredulous. "They spy on you in your own house?"

"This isn't my house. It's…GeneCo's gilded cage for their songbird."

When Shilo had put on the coat and flipped up the hood, she slipped her hand back into Mag's and squeezed gently.

"There's a key in the right pocket. I can't undo the lock without seeing it. Would you mind…?"

"No, of course not." Shilo unlocked the door and let herself and Mag in.

The inside of the house was even more extravagant then the exterior. Shilo felt tempted to ogle her surroundings, but the fact that she knew they were filled with privacy-invading technology spoiled their beauty.

"How are you going…?" Mag's hand tightened on Shilo's before she could finish the sentence, and Shilo realized she'd been speaking aloud. "How are you going to bring everything you need to my house?" Shilo tried again, whispering.

"Hardly any of this is mine," Mag murmured. "All glitz and glamour from GeneCo. There are only a few things I need."

Mag directed Shilo to her bedroom, which was more like a suite than simply a bedroom. Mag seemed to know her way around well enough because she was so familiar with the area, but when it came to selecting which clothes to bring with her, Mag needed Shilo's help.

"The top drawer is socks and scarves, yes?"

"Yep." Shilo felt almost somewhat like an interloper looking through Mag's dresser, but Mag had asked her to be of assistance.

"Take a few pairs of black and a few pairs of blue socks, and maybe one pair of white. And…the emerald green scarf, and the black one. Maybe the gold one."

Shilo obeyed and carefully deposited the items in a suitcase Mag had dug out of her closet. They went through the rest of the dresser quickly, with Mag choosing only a few garments from each drawer. The drawers were not at all full and did not contain any of the clothes Mag wore to appear in public; while Mag was always on the screens wearing flashy, elaborate dresses, the clothes in the dresser were simple in style and pattern, mostly solid, dark colors. Shilo saw jeans, trousers, T-shirts, and the occasional sundress or long skirt. "Mag? I've never seen you…wearing any of this…"

"No…you wouldn't have. These aren't Blind Mag's clothes. These belong to Magdalene Defoe. She…I…was only allowed to keep a few of them."

Shilo assumed that was Mag's birth name. As avid a Blind Mag fan as she was, Shilo hadn't known what Mag was called before Rotti Largo discovered her; GeneCo had taken great pains to keep all of Mag's life before becoming the voice of GeneCo secret.

The open closet caught Shilo's eye; Mag hadn't closed the door after retrieving the suitcase. There hung all of the beautiful dresses Shilo had so admired when watching Mag on TV. "Don't you want any of those dresses?"

Mag sniffed. "All things that GeneCo bought for me, to show off their most popular commodity."

Mag was right that most of her dresses were rather revealing. Shilo thought they looked lovely on her and had never considered that Mag might be uncomfortable being so exposed. She remembered one dress from Mag's Cornea Plus commercial that shifted from olive green to gold, with a slit in the skirt that exposed one long white leg as Mag walked across the stage, and instantly felt guilty. "Some of them are so pretty. Are there any that you like?"

Mag paused. "There's one dark green dress I like…it goes with that one scarf. And there's a black one…long sleeves, some sparkle decoration down the front where it laces, brocade overlay…"

"The one you wore to my house the night of the opera?"

"Yes, that one."

Shilo picked out the dark green dress. It was backless, but other than that seemed to cover everything. She folded it and placed it in the suitcase before going back for the black dress. "This one looks so beautiful on you," said Shilo wistfully.

"Thank you...it is one of the few GeneCo outfits that I actually like."

Shilo eyed the bracelets and arm-bands on one of the closet shelves. Shilo remembered seeing Mag wearing some of them when they'd met for the first time and thinking that they were nice accessories, but now they looked more like manacles. Shilo shivered. "Did GeneCo let you wear anything you wanted to?"

"I'm not sure I want to talk about this now…and you've forgotten to whisper."

"Sorry." Something else in the closet caught Shilo's eye, something glinting on the back wall. Shilo flicked on the closet light.

"Mag…what are these doing here?"

The back wall of the closet was partly covered with hanging photographs. About half of them were of a young Mag, often holding a white cane, at several stages of her life; at the age of about ten, holding a kitten; about twelve, standing on a stage singing a solo; eighteen, proudly holding a high school diploma from a well-known arts and theater high school. Her real eyes were blue, bright crystal blue, not unlike the eyes she'd gotten from GeneCo. Some of the other pictures were of her and a woman who was obviously Marni, and there were two of Marni where Mag was not present: one of Marni standing with Nathan, and one of Marni standing beside a man who seemed to be Rotti Largo, except Rotti's face had been colored over with black marker. Two were of a high school aged Mag standing with a young man who had his arm around her. In none of the pictures did Mag have her GeneCo eyes.

"I can't see what you're looking at, but I take it you're looking at the pictures."

"Yes."

"Why are they in the closet?"

"Thank you for reminding me…" Mag brought over the suitcase and began loading the photographs into the suitcase. "Hmm. I may need another suitcase."

"Mag?"

"I know…you must be thinking I can't actually see them now. But I don't want GeneCo to get their hands on them."

"Is that why they're in the closet?"

"Yes. GeneCo didn't want me to have anything left over from before I started…singing for them."

Shilo hugged Mag briefly; Mag gave her a squeeze back. "I need to get some sundries from the bathroom, and…and I should get my old cane. And then we should go…" She lowered her voice to be even quieter than a standard whisper. "They may not be monitoring this place right now, but as soon as they find out we're here, they will…be here shortly."

Mag hurried to collect her toiletries, and when she was finished, she and Shilo rushed from the house. Or rather, they did their best to rush; Shilo held Mag's hand and guided her, while Mag carried the cane she'd retrieved from her closet, sweeping it to and fro in front of her. Shilo hated how practiced the motion looked for reasons she couldn't place.

The taxi ride passed in silence, though Shilo found herself leaning against Mag's shoulder almost without realizing it. When the car pulled up to the Wallace residence, Mag dipped into the tote bag of money which she had (wisely, in Shilo's opinion) kept with her since their trip to the bank. She counted out several bills—Shilo wondered how she could possibly know how much she was counting until she realized Mag had gotten all bills of the same denomination—and handed about five times the fare to the driver. "No one knows who was in this taxi, where it went, or why," said Mag with an uncharacteristically sharp edge to her voice.

The driver counted the bills and nodded.

Shilo helped Mag get into the house with her two suitcases and the tote bag of money, and between the two of them they were able to take only one trip to get everything into the house.

"Do you want me to set you up in my dad's room?" Shilo queried, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she hoped Mag said no. As distraught as she'd been the previous night—the thought of her father's blood covering her mother's old dress made tears well in her eyes—lying beside Mag had helped her sleep. "Or…you could stay with me," she added almost shyly.

"If you're comfortable with me staying with you…"

"Yes…very. I mean…very comfortable."

"All right."

Shilo unpacked Mag's things and helped her around the bedroom and bathroom so she could familiarize herself with the places where all her belongings were.

"Shilo, do you know what Braille is?"

"Um…no."

"It's probably fallen out of use…it's a system of raised bumps that translate to Western letters. It's a way for blind people to read. GeneCo has probably disallowed it just to inconvenience those who can't afford eye replacements even more."

Shilo was learning how to pick up the traces of bitterness in Mag's voice; she darted over and embraced Mag tightly again.

"You like hugs, don't you, little one?" Mag rocked Shilo back and forth.

Shilo closed her eyes. "Mmm." She had been planning to say something about how she'd never really been around anyone besides her father, but the words had completely left her mind.

Graverobber came by that night for the payment Mag had promised him. She thanked him again for the drug, though Shilo could tell she still wasn't comfortable buying from a grave robber. Mag and Shilo met him at the front door; as he left, he blew Shilo another kiss, and she nearly chased after him in hopes of another hug or kiss on the hand, but was sure Mag wouldn't approve. Maybe she would eventually, but…it would take time.

It was soon after Graverobber left that the pain of her torn-out eyes began affecting Mag again. It was late enough that Mag wanted to sleep; she changed into a nightdress and lay in bed, and Shilo gave her another hundred microliters of Zydrate and changed the bandages around Mag's eye sockets; to Shilo's horror, the wounds were still bleeding.

"Mag, what are we…going to do about your eyes? We don't want them to get infected, and there has to be a better way to stop this bleeding…"

"I just wish the sockets weren't empty," Mag whispered.

"But what…?"

"Tomorrow, Shilo. Please?"

Shilo nodded, then realized Mag couldn't see the nod. "Okay. Tomorrow."

Shilo replaced the Zydate gun in a desk drawer where she had decided to keep it, along with the unused vials of Zydrate. Shilo didn't like the way the drug glowed. It looked unnatural, and if it didn't work so effectively, Shilo might have objected to Mag using it. Especially after seeing what had become of the Zydrate addicts…Shilo pushed that thought away. Mag wasn't the type to become addicted to Zydrate, not after the way she'd so hated being GeneCo's slave, she would never let herself become slave to a drug…

After getting on her own pajamas and going through her nightly hygiene routine, Shilo climbed into bed. Mag was already fast asleep; apparently Zydrate made her drowsy. Shilo huddled close to Mag, carefully draping one arm over her sleeping godmother. Even in her sleep—was she dreaming, maybe, and Shilo's presence somehow entered her dream?—Mag responded, her left arm falling clumsily over Shilo's back. Shilo felt herself tremble for a reason she couldn't place, and then suddenly she realized that her hand was moving over Mag's back of its own volition, stroking and caressing.

It didn't take any rumination or even any conscious thought at all; that was simply the moment it came to Shilo that she was in love with Mag. After years of admiring the beautiful singer from afar, Shilo was now finding that Mag in real life was brave, and graceful, and had suffered so much…it made sense.

Shilo almost wept, partly because it was a relief to admit it and partly because it was a hopeless, impossible love. Mag was her godmother, not her lover. "Mag…" Shilo whispered into the darkness. "I love you…"

Whether Mag heard the words in her dream, Shilo would never know.

* * *

A/N: Shilo does like hugs, doesn't she?


	3. Magdalene Defoe's Tale

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Three: Magdalene Defoe's Tale

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: Sorry about the delay. School, you know.

* * *

The following morning, Shilo remembered little of her dream from the previous night. All that was left in her memory of the dream was a popular poster of Blind Mag that had been produced a while back, featuring Mag with her graceful arms extended, except she had eight arms like a goddess of old India. In the dream, Mag stepped from the poster toward Shilo, and Shilo felt herself embraced and caressed by every one of Mag's arms. She woke wrapped in two very real, very warm arms, and instinctively nuzzled at her godmother's collarbone before realizing—to her embarrassment—that Mag was awake.

"Good morning, Shilo."

"Hi, Mag." Shilo whispered. Her eyes drifted shut again. Her body moved slightly, closer to Mag. "Can we cuddle?"

Mag was quiet for a moment. "I was twenty when your mother died. Since then…GeneCo chased off my friends one by one. It's been a while since I've…cuddled."

Somehow hearing Blind Mag's distinguished voice utter the word "cuddle" amused Shilo; she giggled.

"Shilo? I've noticed you have no hair. May I ask why?"

Shilo didn't wear her wig to sleep. The previous night, she had hung it up before getting into bed. She blushed slightly, glad that Mag wouldn't be able to see her hairless. Briefly she wondered if Graverobber would still think her beautiful if he could see her without her wig.

"My hair fell out because of my blood disease." The second the words left her mouth, she regretted them. Because of course her hair hadn't fallen out due to a genetic blood disorder.

"Your father said you were sick. Might I ask what illness you have?" Mag's voice was kind, not prying.

Shilo began to cry. "It's not a real illness."

"Not a real illness? What do you mean?"

"Dad…Dad poisoned me."

"What?" Mag cried, sitting up to look at Shilo's face; this was a response to surprising statements that she had picked up after receiving her new eyes. But now she couldn't see Shilo, and the girl whimpered at the loss of contact, so she lay back down and held Shilo again. "Nathan _poisoned _you?"

"Yes. He said he drugged my blood, and…one of the last things he ever said was begging me to forgive him."

"But why? When I first came here, it was obvious that your father hadn't let your mother go...and it seemed he was keeping you locked up in here, as if this house were a crypt and you and your mother were both dead."

Shilo closed her eyes. "That's how I felt," she whispered. "He…I think he wanted to protect me. He wanted to keep me in the house so nothing bad would ever happen to me."

"And you look so like your mother, I'd imagine he felt like if he lost you, he would be losing your mother all over again."

Shilo began to cry; Mag rubbed her back soothingly. "Why did he make me sick? I can hardly do anything without worrying about not being able to breathe. I stopped growing early. I lost my hair. Why couldn't he have kept me safe without making me sick?"

Mag planted a soft, motherly kiss on Shilo's head. "Your mother was spirited. She made no attempt to keep Rotti from knowing exactly how she felt about him when she left him. Your father worried you would take after Marni and find a way to escape from his…protection if you felt like you were being stifled."

Shilo attempted to laugh through her tears. "I did anyway. I learned to pick the lock to my door. I'd sneak out to Mom's grave because Dad would take me there…it was familiar. I'd catch insects and collect them."

Mag continued petting Shilo, trying to calm her down. "Shilo…he was wrong. He shouldn't have sickened you. He meant well, but he was wrong."

"At least he realized it, at the end…that he was wrong…" Shilo sniffled.

"Do you forgive him?" Mag asked softly.

Shilo hugged Mag even tighter.

"Shilo?"

"Yes. Because he…he realized it was wrong. He apologized."

Mag paused before replying. "Good. Because if you never forgave him, now that he's dead…it would lead nowhere good. You might always carry that with you."

After that, Shilo said nothing; Mag simply held her until she stopped crying. It didn't take long considering how comfortable Shilo was in Mag's arms. When Shilo had calmed, Mag suggested that they eat breakfast, since Shilo might feel better with some food in her. Shilo agreed, so they got up and dressed, and Shilo gave Mag her daily Zydrate dose. Shilo made them both what her father had called "breakfast sandwiches"; sliced bananas on peanut butter dusted with cinnamon, sandwiched between two lightly toasted English muffins.

"Shilo, do you mind if we watch the news? I should follow what's happening with GeneCo now that Rotti is dead." She didn't add, _And now that they are looking for me_.

"No." Shilo switched on the TV in the kitchen. "Do you want me to tell you what's happening?"

"No, it's all right."

There were a few mindless news stories about celebrities and their latest surgeries, and sob stories about the latest Zydrate overdoses of supposedly upstanding citizens. And then it came on.

"After the tragic passing of Rottissimo 'Rotti' Largo just after the Genetic Opera two nights ago, GeneCo seems to be in for some positive changes. After some confusion surrounding the issue of the rightful heir to GeneCo—including the surprising offer from Mr. Largo to the daughter of a GeneCo employee to take over the position of C.E.O.—GeneCo has its new leader."

Mag bit one of her knuckles. Shilo quietly got up from her chair and went to stand beside her.

The anchor continued. "That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the ever-changing face of Amber Sweet is now the new face of GeneCo."

Mag moaned as if she'd been shot.

Amber Sweet's newest countenance filled the screen. Her voice floated through the speakers, talking about GeneCo living on.

"Turn it off. Shilo, turn it off." Mag's voice was shaking. Shilo hit the _off _button on the remote. "Amber Sweet has taken over GeneCo." Tears leaked out from beneath Mag's bandage; apparently her eyeball replacement hadn't affected her tear ducts.

Shilo embraced Mag tightly. "What's wrong with Amber?" Shilo recalled Amber's angry shouts against Mag back in the alley when Amber was tripping on Zydrate, saying that it would be "her turn to shine when the Repo man strikes." Amber had looked forward to Mag's death, because without Mag performing, Amber's (weak, annoying and unremarkable) voice would look better by comparison. "You're not singing anymore. She doesn't have to compete with you."

Mag let out a quiet sob. Shilo's heart raced; her mental image of Mag was one of unblemished grace and beauty. Blind Mag crying was…unnerving at best. Shilo's hands were already moving over Mag's back of their own accord; Shilo hoped that passed for comforting.

"Amber hates me," Mag whispered. She leaned into Shilo's embrace as if she truly needed it. "It's not just…competition, or jealousy. It's hatred. And she loves to control me any way she can."

"How could she control you?"

"I don't want to tell you. It's not a story anyone should hear. You've heard and seen enough horrible things in the past few days."

"But now you've got to tell me! If it's something horrible, I want to know what happened to you!" Shilo threaded her fingers through Mag's silky hair and caressed it.

"Amber, the new face of GeneCo…" Another sob ripped itself forcefully from Mag's throat. "No…"

Shilo had never really had to comfort anyone before; she didn't know what to say, so she held and stroked Mag while the shoulder of her dress grew wet. Mag was crying, but quietly. Shilo remembered how soothing it had been to have Mag touch her bald head, and started petting Mag's scalp.

"Mag?" Shilo's face was already buried in Mag's hair, so she kissed it. It wasn't intentional. "Mag, please tell me what's wrong. I'm just going to worry if you don't tell me."

Shilo felt Mag's hands make fists in the fabric of Shilo's dress. "I have never told anyone."

"I'm your goddaughter. I love you. You can tell me."

"You don't want to know."

Shilo's fingertips traced small circles on Mag's scalp. "Yes, I do."

Mag tilted her head so her forehead was resting against Shilo's throat so she would be able to speak more clearly, but it was a long time before she began talking. "You remember at the fair, when Rotti told me that technically I belonged to GeneCo."

"Yeah, I remember. He put his arm around you, and…" Something clicked in Shilo's memory. "You looked angry."

A long shudder ran through Mag's body. "Because that's what he said to me the first time he…" Mag stopped herself. "But you asked about Amber. Anyway…what Rotti said about me technically belonging to GeneCo was true. It wasn't just my eyes that were GeneCo's, it was…it was me. All of me."

The tone of Mag's voice made Shilo shiver. "What do you mean?"

The words spilled out of Mag's mouth as if her lips were moving without any consent from her brain. "Rotti always considered himself something of a Casanova in his younger years, always hated it when he didn't have someone fawning over him. It wasn't long after Marni left him that he…approached me. He wasn't looking for a relationship in the eyes of the public, because such a quick rebound would have raised a few eyebrows. He just wanted a woman who he could control, who he could break. I was…easily accessible. I refused, of course…but he wouldn't take no for an answer." Shilo hugged Mag tighter as the older woman shivered again. "He's almost a foot taller than I am. He overpowered me easily. That was when he first said I belonged to GeneCo. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you that…I didn't mean to…forgive me…"

Shilo whimpered. "But you said Amber…"

"It wasn't a long while after that…incident Rotti decided he wanted his children to have the opportunity to enslave me the way he had. He told all of them that if they had any interest in me, they should simply help themselves. All three of them obliged gladly…but Amber was by far the most vicious."

"Is Amber…bi, then?"

"Amber will sleep with anything that would hold still long enough, if you'll excuse my vulgarity. She may have actually found me attractive; I don't know." Mag's voice was shaking so hard Shilo could barely understand her.

Shilo kissed Mag's hair again, several times. "You could have fought her off, couldn't you?"

"She got her paid GeneCo…henchmen, for lack of a better word…to lock the door to my bedroom until she was finished with me."

"She did this to you in your _bedroom_? That…that goes so far beyond an invasion of privacy…!"

"You don't have to tell me." Shilo thought she felt Mag start to cry again, and she gently trailed one flat palm over Mag's spine.

"Mag? Why was Amber so horrible? I would think that…that the one who is always stabbing people, I can never remember his name…"

"Luigi. He always held me down and put his knife at my throat. It was terrifying, but at least it was over quickly. And he just wanted…well, Amber wanted to hurt me. The boys didn't. Amber liked to force me to pleasure her in the most humiliating ways. And she would…deliberately hurt me, and accuse me of enjoying it when I cried out."

Shilo had always had something of an active imagination, especially when a television show or movie didn't explain things. Her mind would automatically fill in the gaps. So now, hearing Mag deliberately give only a brief description of the horrible things Amber had done to her, Shilo found herself imagining exactly what Amber forced Mag to do…

"Oh, Mag…" Shilo gasped. She stopped stroking Mag and squeezed her as hard as she could. "Mag, I'm so sorry..."

"I knew they would kill me," Mag whispered. "I knew my eyes would be taken if I quit, but I didn't care. And I knew they wouldn't let me live. That's why I took my own eyes out on stage, rather than being hunted down like a criminal by the Repo Man. But I couldn't be GeneCo's slave anymore. Amber…Amber was the last straw."

"You _knew? _You _knew _they would kill you?"

"Yes. But I would rather have died than continued being GeneCo's slave. Especially after all the years I suffered. This is why I warned you to stay away from GeneCo, so you wouldn't get sucked in the way I did."

"How did you get into GeneCo in the first place? I know Rotti supposedly…'discovered' you…but if they were awful to you from the beginning, why did you stay?"

Mag sighed shakily. "I was young and naïve. I never looked too closely at my contract…especially because I was born blind, and could still only read Braille when I first got my eyes. But GeneCo claimed they could make me advertise anything they wanted me to…at first, I had no problem with the ads; they started me off as the star of the Genetic Opera, and once people knew me, GeneCo had me do ads for smaller things, such as the newest style of rhinoplasty, or a safe and attractive way for transwomen to have their Adam's apples removed. Nothing I had a problem with. It was when they wanted me to do an ad for cosmetic vaginoplasty that I first refused. I didn't realize what…depths GeneCo would sink to in order to keep me in line."

Shilo made a sound of disgust and found herself pressing her legs together instinctively. "What happened when you refused?"

Mag was quiet for a long moment. "Shilo, please…haven't you heard enough?"

"I would think…I would think talking about it would help."

"I firsthand witnessed all of GeneCo's worst depravity for years, and anyone who I so much as spoke to as a friend suddenly found themselves up for repossession early." Mag paused. "And…and yet…" Shilo waited while Mag collected her thoughts. "Shilo…I'm still alive?"

"Of course you are!"

"I almost don't feel like I am. I was supposed to die the night of the opera. I still…function, I still breathe, but…this feels like an afterlife."

_Don't talk like that, _Shilo almost begged, but she held her tongue.

"I suppose…you are…you are already in danger. You learning GeneCo's darkest secrets can't…but I don't want you to hear this…" Mag spoke in spurts, barely coherent.

"Please, tell me," Shilo whispered as gently as she could. "It's okay now. You can tell me."

There was another long silence before Mag spoke again, and no matter how tightly Shilo squeezed, she could not get Mag to stop shivering. "Do you remember the sweepstakes GeneCo held every once in a while? The winner would get to meet me?"

"I remember that! I wanted so badly to enter…"

"It wouldn't have mattered if you had. They chose someone who was unhealthily obsessed with me. I had no say in the matter. On the day the winner was supposed to meet me, I was instructed to go to my dressing room in the same building where the Genetic Opera was held. They locked me in the room with him."

"Did he rape you?"

"No…he tried, but he ended up just kissing me and putting his hands all over me. He stopped when I managed to fight him off; he was out of his mind and convinced that the two of us already had a relationship, and was puzzled when I…resisted." Mag buried her face in Shilo's shoulder again; her next words were muffled. "So I did the ad. Because Rotti told me that wouldn't have happened if I'd done what I was instructed. And there were worse things GeneCo tried to get me to help them advertise…I'm sure you noticed the sweepstakes were seemingly held at random times?"

"Mm-hmm."

"They were held whenever I refused to do something for GeneCo. Sometimes I wouldn't do an ad, sometimes I wouldn't perform when I was sick, sometimes I wouldn't perform in the deliberately racy operas that GeneCo knew young men everywhere would particularly enjoy at my expense. I started continuing to refuse their worst demands no matter what happened with the sweepstakes winner, hoping that eventually they would realize they couldn't control me completely. The sweepstakes stopped and Rotti took over." Mag paused. "Then…then it turned out they could control me completely. Rotti…he's a monster. I can see where Amber gets it."

"So…Rotti attacked you once because he just wanted you, and then later to punish you?"

"Yes." Mag's arms tightened around Shilo. "And…and to control me. To make sure I knew that nothing belonged to me anymore, not even my body."

"What about the Largo kids? Were they supposed to…punish you too?"

"No. I think Rotti just wanted me…completely broken. And that was the one thing his…his _worthless_ offspring could manage. And Amber still hates me. She won't rest until she knows I'm dead. And now that she is in charge of GeneCo, she'll put every resource she can into finding me." Mag leaned back from Shilo's embrace and reached up a hand, carefully moving it through the air until her palm found and cupped Shilo's cheek. "You remember yesterday when I made you promise to keep yourself safe if GeneCo found me?"

"Yes." Shilo felt her heart pound so hard her breath caught. She knew she wasn't going to like what Mag had to say next.

"Amber is going to stop at nothing to find me, and when she does, please, don't interfere. The GeneCops, Amber's valets, anyone they send will shoot you down if you get in their way. They have no respect for human life."

"I can't!" Shilo cried. "I can't just watch while they drag you off!" She felt her lungs clench, and as hard as she tried to force air into her lungs, spots appeared in her vision. "I can't…I can't get enough air." Legs trembling, she sat down on the floor.

"Shilo? Shilo, are you all right?" Mag knelt beside her.

"It's just a little one. I'll be okay." Shilo leaned against Mag. "Tell me something good. Tell me…tell me about the boy you were with in the pictures. You looked happy."

"Okay." Mag rested her hand on Shilo's back. "If you keep your spine straight, you'll get more air."

Shilo struggled to straighten her back.

"That's better," Mag cooed. "Breathe, Shilo. You asked about the man in the pictures with me…his name was Haskell. We were middle school sweethearts, and we stayed together through the end of high school. In both of the pictures you saw, I was seventeen. Or…perhaps I was eighteen in one of them."

Shilo had mostly regained control of her breathing. "Through the end of high school? What happened?"

"Well…it's not the good story you asked for."

"I want to know." Shilo let her spine relax, finding that she could breathe again. "I mean…you were the one that left him, right? It's not as if any man could…well, do any better than you." Shilo felt herself blushing.

"He had an internship in another city the summer before we both went to college. We had gone to different high schools, but we lived in the same town, so it was the first time we had been apart. He wasn't very good about keeping in touch with me, so I decided to surprise him. In late July, I showed up at the building where he was working." Mag paused to collect herself. "Instead of being happy to see me, he panicked. He insisted that I leave immediately…he didn't want this girl he was working with to see us together, because it would ruin his chances with her."

"What? He was cheating on you?"

"He was seeing this other girl, yes. He tried to get me out of the building as fast as possible, but…well, I needed help, as I didn't know the building. And he wouldn't walk with me. I managed to get to the elevators—he worked on the seventh floor—and this one employee helped me get to the first floor, as there weren't Braille numbers on the buttons. She told me her name was Anette and that she worked in the complaints department for the company, so I could file a complaint with her if I wanted. I was crying, and I must have looked upset. I found out later that Anette was the woman that Haskell left me for, so at least I know he didn't choose someone too awful over me. They were still together when GeneCo gave me my eyes, and…well, it shouldn't have mattered to me, but I wanted to see what she looked like. I looked her up on MySpace. It turned out she'd been a surgery addict since she was fifteen. She looked nearly as…as _fake_ as Amber."

Shilo stood up, a bit shakily; Mag helped her. Shilo couldn't help but notice that Mag seemed much steadier now that she was focusing on helping Shilo. "He left you for a…a scalpel slut?"

"Yes." Mag shook her head. "And of course, I'd never seen myself in a mirror. I found myself wondering if maybe it wasn't my blindness…maybe he'd found someone more beautiful."

"What did you think when you saw yourself in a mirror for the first time?" Shilo asked softly. She could only imagine having no idea what she looked like, and of course, to see one's reflection for the first time and look like Blind Mag…

Mag tilted her head to the side, trying to remember. "I was…shocked. I couldn't believe it was me. But not just because I'd never seen my face before…my hair was all done up, and I was wearing one of the dresses GeneCo gave me…I just looked nothing like I expected to."

"Do you miss your eyes?" Shilo whispered.

"I was born blind, so…I don't miss my sight as much as I do having eyes." Mag gingerly touched her bandage; it was spotted with dried blood.

"I can wash that for you," Shilo offered.

"Would you?"

"Sure."

Shilo washed Mag's eye-bandage by hand in the kitchen sink with a splash of laundry detergent while Mag waited quietly, sitting at the table. While the bandage dried, Shilo retrieved one of the other strips of fabric she'd torn from the dress that had provided the material for Mag's first bandage and wrapped it around Mag's head.

"Mag? Are you okay?"

"Just drowsy. I think it's the Zydrate." Mag carefully adjusted the bandage. "I wish I still had eyes, even if they didn't work."

Shilo knew perfectly well it wasn't only the Zydrate that was troubling Mag, but she let the issue drop and thought for a moment about Mag's last comment. "Do you think many people survive eye repossessions?"

"It's possible, though I always knew GeneCo would tell whichever Repo Man was sent to collect my eyes to kill me."

"I know…and I know repossessions are almost always fatal. But eyes, I'd think…I'd think some people survive that. So maybe there's a way to get fake eyes...for the people who lived through their repossession. I bet Graverobber knows."

"You're going to ask the grave-robber?"

"Yes."

"Well, then, I'm going with you," said Mag as if there were no question about it.

"But what if somebody sees you, and then tells GeneCo you're still alive?" Shilo demanded. "It's still early in the day. I can go find him without worrying about being in danger."

Mag sighed. "You're right. No matter what I do, I jeopardize your safety."

Shilo took Mag's hand and squeezed it. "I'll be fine. I was okay when I went to get the Zydrate, wasn't I?"

"You don't have to go. I'll be fine."

_No, you won't. _"You can call me on my wrist communicator if you're worried. I want you to be comfortable."

"Shilo, please. I shouldn't have said anything. If we just keep the wounds from getting infected…I can get used to this."

"And I can go see if I can get you new eyes." Shilo smiled wanly. "I'm good at sneaking out."

Mag's voice suddenly became sharp. "I'm not going to allow you to do anything dangerous, even if it is for me."

"Mag…" Shilo hugged her. "I can do this."

Mag was still for a moment, then returned Shilo's embrace. "A sheltered rose needs a little room to bloom outside her bedroom. I don't want to stifle you like your father did. But please be careful." She kissed Shilo's forehead.

"I will."

Shilo went upstairs to retrieve her bag—which now contained some money that Mag had given her—then stopped in the kitchen to say good-bye to Mag before leaving. She followed the same route she had to find the alley where he sold Zydrate, but this time it was deserted. Instead of calling Graverobber's name and calling attention to herself, she wandered along the street from which the alleys stemmed, looking for him. About four alleys down from the one where she had first arrived, she saw him leaning against a wall, toying with what looked like a handheld planner. "Graverobber?"

Without looking up, he cursed and flung himself into a nearby Dumpster.

"Graverobber?" Confused, Shilo walked over to the Dumpster. "What are you doing?"

"Oh. Kid." He looked relieved; he sat up and vaulted onto the street. "I thought you were Amber."

Shilo thought it was an odd coincidence that both of the people she was interested in had had sexual contact with Amber but hated her.

"Hi. I just had a question for you."

"What is it?" He leaned against the wall again.

"Mag doesn't like having empty eye sockets. So I was thinking, if people can survive eye repossessions…"

"Are there fake eyes you can buy." Graverobber finished her sentence, though he didn't make it sound like a question.

"Yes. Are there?"

"Yeah. Plenty of people die when their eyes are repossessed, but that's partly because Repo Men are dicks. A lot of people survive and then will settle for glass eyes."

"So…can you help me get a pair for Mag?"

"Do you know what size her eyes were?"

"Size?" Shilo queried, feeling stupid.

"GeneCo sells eyes using a standardized size system. Useful, because then the fake eyes are made in those sizes too."

"I can ask her." Shilo dialed Mag on her wrist communicator. "Mag?"

A hologram of Mag's head popped up above Shilo's wrist. "Hello, Shilo. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I found Graverobber. He says you can get glass eyes if you know what size your GeneCo eyes were."

"My eyes were size 3A."

"Damn. Big eyes," Graverobber muttered as Shilo replied, "Thanks, Mag. Do you want blue eyes like your real ones?"

"Please."

"Okay. I'll get you new eyes. I'll see you soon."

"Be safe, Shilo. And thank you."

"You're welcome. I love you." Shilo terminated the link.

"I love you?" Graverobber smirked.

Shilo blushed darkly. "She's my god-mom."

"Okay…well, I know a guy who does good fake eyes. They even have compartments in the backs that you can fill up with disinfectant and painkiller."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and there are membranes in the backs where the disinfectant and painkillers can leak out."

"Can you take me to him?"

"Sure."

"Thank you!"

He quirked an eyebrow at her emphatic thanks. "It's not like I'm going to let you wander around here by yourself."

Shilo nodded. "Still…thank you."

"You're welcome."

Graverobber led Shilo through a labyrinthine route, causing her to sincerely hope that he would help her get home after this venture. In the neighborhood where they stopped, many of the storefronts were boarded up, and still others were protected by steel grates. Only one building on the block was in decent condition, and the only decoration on the exterior besides surprisingly fresh-looking blue paint was a large lower-case letter "i" painted on the front door. There were no windows.

"I take it you've figured out where we're headed."

"Yes."

Graverobber rapped three times on the door. A small, thin trapdoor opened about five and a half feet up on the door, and a pair of human eyes appeared where the dot of the "i" had been. Shilo flinched.

"Password?" a voice rasped from inside.

"Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Echo Sky Brava Cortez." Graverobber replied in a low voice. It took Shilo a few seconds to work out what he had said.

"Weird password," she whispered.

"It's from an old movie, from before the pandemic. Some spy flick."

The door swung open, revealing a bony but well-dressed man with a stony, sardonic expression on his face that looked like it rarely changed. "Graverobber. Come in."

Shilo and Graverobber stepped inside. The interior was well lit to make up for the lack of windows. A mirror ran along the entire length of one wall on Shilo's right; on her left were racks upon racks of false eyes, organized by size and color and floating in disinfectant. Several reclining chairs were bolted to the floor. Shilo suppressed a shiver.

The thin man jabbed a long, skeletal finger at Shilo. "Who's she?"

"Her name isn't important."

The man looked at her. Shilo forced himself to meet his gaze. His eyes were real—they looked natural, too, not even made by GeneCo—and Shilo found herself wondering why someone like him would be involved in the business of false eyes. "What's your name, kid?"

"Marni," Shilo blurted out. It was the first name that came to mind. Graverobber said nothing.

The man nodded to Graverobber. "This one yours?"

"She needs eyes." His face was inscrutable.

"Not for me," Shilo added. Suddenly an idea came to her; she should give a false story that in no way could lead back to Mag. "For my brother. He was born blind and got eyes from GeneCo, but he couldn't keep up with the payments, and a few days ago…" Shilo's voice cracked as she imagined a tall, menacing Repo Man bearing down on Mag. "His eyes were taken."

The man nodded. "What size was he?"

"3A."

"Big eyes," the man deadpanned and shuffled over to the racks of eyes. Shilo followed, swallowing repeatedly to keep the contents of her stomach where they were supposed to be instead of in her mouth or, worse, on the floor. "What color?"

"Blue. Bright blue, like…aquamarines, except maybe a little darker."

The man reached up a spindly arm and picked out a case of bright blue 3A eyes. "How about these?"

Shilo took a closer look. "Oh…those are perfect. She'd like those."

The man raised his eyebrows perhaps a millimeter. "I thought these were for your brother."

"Oh…" Shilo's mind raced. "He's trans. Sometimes I still call him 'she.' Actually he wants a double mastectomy…but…he can't even afford the eyes he needs…" Shilo trailed off, starting to cry again, and not just because she was acting.

"Okay. Four hundred credits, then."

"Bullshit." Graverobber spoke up. "Those are good, but your best eyes go for two hundred fifty. You trying to rip her off because she's a kid?"

The man scowled. "Two hundred twenty-five."

Shilo would have been willing to spend four hundred credits on Mag, but then again, it was Mag's money, not hers. Silently, she took out two hundred and twenty-five dollars and handed them to the eye-selling man, taking the case of eyes in return.

"Those need to be cleaned with ethanol every night. And I take it you want the antiseptic and anesthetic too?"

Shilo didn't trust her voice, so she nodded.

"Forty-three credits."

Graverobber didn't interject, so Shilo assumed that that was a good price. She proffered fifty credits and was led to a dusty, old-fashioned cash register where she was given seven credits change, and then the gaunt man reached into a cabinet under the register and withdrew two twelve-fl oz bottles of liquid.

"These are fitted with nozzles that will fit into the holes in the eyes. All you have to do is add a few squirts before your brother puts his eyes in."

"Okay." Shilo swallowed forcefully. "Thank you."

Graverobber spoke up. "Let's go, kid."

"Wait." The man handled Shilo a plain white plastic bag. "Don't let anybody see what you have in there. _Especially _anyone from GeneCo."

"I won't." With that, Shilo scurried out the door, Graverobber on her heels.

"Nice acting." It took Shilo a moment to realize Graverobber wasn't being sarcastic.

"Thank you."

"We should get you home. It's getting late."

Shilo nodded. She followed Graverobber to the GeneCop car, and he drove her to the Wallace residence. She sat beside him in silence, turning over the case of eyes in her hands, and was startled when Graverobber addressed her. "You okay, Shilo?"

He'd used her name. Shilo liked the way his voice sounded saying it. "Um…I'm okay. I'm just worried."

"About Blind Mag?"

"Yes."

"She's not okay, you know." Graverobber didn't take his eyes from the road, but Shilo saw his expression change.

"What do you mean?" Shilo asked, but she was afraid she knew the answer.

"You remember when she wouldn't let me give her the Zydrate in her leg?"

"Yeah."

"She couldn't see me, but I warned her. Her eyes were killing her, but she tried to get away. A lot of the Z addicts use to forget shit that happened to them. Most of them who won't take the shot in the leg were raped and don't like being touched anywhere near there."

Shilo sat up straight. "So you know…?"

"Amber bragged to me once when she was high." Graverobber's lip curled in disgust. "You should be worried about Mag."

"I am," Shilo whispered, leaning against the window.

The car pulled up in front of the gate. "We're here."

Shilo got out; Graverobber parked the car and followed her to the gate. "Thank you for driving me home."

"You're welcome." He reached out and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Take care of yourself."

Shilo felt her heart flutter slightly against her ribs. "You too." She watched him go, then let herself into the house. She could still feel her shoulder tingling slightly as she scampered up the stairs. "Mag?"

There was no response.

"Mag? Where are you?"

Again, nothing, so Shilo went to her bedroom, assuming that was where Mag would be. She was right; Mag was lying in Shilo's bed, curled into a fetal position. Shilo climbed onto the bed and touched Mag's shoulder; Mag flinched and cried out. "Don't, please…"

"Mag, it's me. It's Shilo."

Mag began to weep. "Stay away. Haven't you done enough?"

"I haven't done anything." Shilo tried to reach for Mag again, but this time Mag lashed out and struck Shilo's arm.

"Amber, don't. Do I have to beg? Is that what you want? What must I do to make you leave me alone?"

Shilo's mind raced. What could she do to snap Mag out of whatever horrible episode she was going through? The first thing that came to her was Amber's fury at hearing one of Blind Mag's songs, so she lay down next to Mag and began singing softly, a verse of one of Mag's songs that was low enough for Shilo. Amber would never sing anything that Mag had performed.

Mag reached one hand out carefully; Shilo took it and squeezed it gently. "Is that you, Shilo?"

"It's me. Are you okay?"

Mag groaned and rolled over so she wasn't facing Shilo. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

"What happened?"

"Shilo, please. I've told you too much already. You're just a child."

"I'm seventeen. You can tell me." Shilo brushed Mag's hair back from her face.

"I shouldn't have told you anything."

"Mag, if you're going to stay here, I need to know."

"No, you don't." Mag's voice grew sharp again. Shilo hated the way it sounded. "I should...I should keep my promise to your mother, but I shouldn't tell you anything…"

"Does it happen often?" Shilo lay down and fit her body against Mag's like a shell.

"I shouldn't sleep here anymore."

"But I want you to." Shilo hugged Mag gently. "If you don't want to sleep near me, then…did you have a nightmare?"

"Yes. It was a nightmare. Nothing more. The Zydrate made me tired, so I tried to take a nap, and I had a nightmare."

Shilo knew Mag was lying. "So you have a lot of nightmares."

"Yes, all right?" Mag shook her head. "I've told you too much. I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize. It's okay."

"Did you bring my new eyes?"

Shilo knew Mag was trying to change the subject, but she didn't want to force Mag to talk. Enough people had forced Mag into doing things she didn't want to do. "Yes. Hang on." Shilo got up and opened the case of new eyes. She unscrewed the top of the antiseptic bottle and put a few squirts of liquid into each eye, then did the same with the anesthetic. She went back to Mag, delicately holding each eye between a thumb and forefinger. "These have anesthetic and antiseptic in them. I shouldn't have to give you any more Zydrate."

"The Zydrate helps me sleep."

"Okay. But you won't need any more doing the day. Can you lie on your back?"

Mag did so without replying.

"I'm going to try to put the new eyes in. Tell me if it hurts."

Shilo pushed the upper eyelid of Mag's left eye back with one knuckle, then eased the glass eyeball into the empty socket. She jerked back when Mag tried to blink.

"Are you okay?"

Mag replied with another question. "Can you put the other one in?"

Shilo did; it was easier with the complete use of one hand. Mag blinked several times and tried to move her new eyes a bit. "I can't move them so well…the muscles must have been damaged when I took out my eyes…"

"Do they feel better?"

Mag sighed deeply. "Much. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Mag curled into a fetal position again.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't want to talk."

Shilo figured Mag wanted to be left alone, but Shilo didn't have to leave in order to not be a bother. So she lay down and embraced Mag again. When Mag took Shilo's hand, Shilo assumed that meant Mag didn't object to her staying, so she didn't move.

In fact, it was several hours before either of them moved.

* * *

A/N: Yes, Mag has rape trauma syndrome, but what else would you expect? And yes, I had to make the Spy Kids reference. I was obsessed with that movie when I was young.


	4. I Wish We Could Have Watched Together

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Four: I Wish We Could Have Watched Together

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: Sorry the update took me so long. Frakking schoolwork…

* * *

Mag didn't speak at all for the rest of the day. When it was time for a meal, Shilo got up and fixed something for both of them. She then brought some food upstairs for Mag, who would eat only a few bites and not respond to Shilo's insistence that she eat more. Between lunch and dinner, Shilo stayed with Mag, curled up beside her. It was only when night fell that Mag finally got up and, with some help from Shilo, changed into a nightdress, removed her glass eyes, and took her nightly Zydrate dose. Once that was done, Mag got back into bed and promptly fell asleep.

Shilo couldn't deny that she was worried, especially after what Graverobber had told her. Mag was sick and Shilo didn't know if there was any way she could help. So she slept badly that night, despite the fact that she lay close to Mag. She woke very early, long before Mag did, and spent a few hours stroking Mag's hair lightly enough that it wouldn't disturb her and wondering what to say to Mag when she was awake. Would it help her feel better to know that Shilo was in love with her, to know that she had someone to care for her? Or would she be suspicious of Shilo's feelings after all the Largos had put her through, or simply feel that she had to be Shilo's parent as opposed to her lover?

Mag woke rather late, just after ten AM. She had been sleeping with her face resting against Shilo's throat, so Shilo felt her stir. "Good morning," Shilo hazarded, threading her fingers through Mag's hair.

"Shilo." The voice was barely above a whisper, but it was a relief to hear. Shilo hadn't realized how attached she'd gotten to hearing Mag's voice.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm." Mag squirmed to get her arms around Shilo and pulled her goddaughter closer. Shilo almost giggled with sheer happiness at the gesture.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

Shilo assumed she didn't have to ask whether or not Mag wanted to stay in bed for a while. She turned out to be right, and found herself wondering if Mag was so comfortable snuggling with her because she hadn't felt a scrap of genuine affection since GeneCo had gotten its claws into her.

It was nearly eleven when Mag finally spoke again. "Could we eat something now?"

"Sure." Shilo disentangled herself from Mag and got up. "Do you want me to put your eyes in first?"

"Please."

Shilo retrieved Mag's glass eyes from their case and refilled them with antiseptic and painkiller. "Okay, are you ready?"

"Yes."

Shilo gently pried Mag's eye sockets open with her knuckles and inserted the right eye, then the left. "Does that hurt?"

"No." Mag blinked. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"You didn't have to get these for me." Mag reached out a hand to Shilo; Shilo took it.

"I wanted to." Shilo squeezed Mag's hand. She had beautiful hands, and her nails were manicured and painted a lush dark red. Shilo fought the urge to kiss Mag's fingers.

"I'm the one who should be taking care of you." She sounded almost mournful.

"Mag, it's okay, really." Shilo hurriedly thought of a way to change the subject. "Do you want me to help you get dressed?"

"I'll be all right, thank you. One nice thing about Magdalene Defoe's plain wardrobe is that everything matches."

Shilo hadn't thought of that. Also, she wasn't sure she liked Mag referring to her pre-GeneCo self as if she were a different person. "Can I call you Magdalene? It's such a pretty name."

Mag looked surprised for a moment. "If you want."

Shilo fished an outfit out of her wardrobe and went into the bathroom to change so Mag would have privacy. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, pausing to look at herself in the mirror for a moment before putting on her wig. Now that she wasn't going to be…poisoned anymore, was her hair going to grow back? Did she really have her mother's hair?

When she was finished with her morning routine, she knocked on the bathroom door. "Mag? Are you decent?"

"Actually, Shilo, I need your help."

"Okay." Shilo exited the bathroom. Mag was standing by the wardrobe, already wearing a pair of thin loose black sweatpants. She wasn't wearing a shirt, though, and was covering herself with her arms. _Magdalene, you don't have to hide from me_. "What is it?"

"I can't remember which drawer my shirts were in, and I didn't want to make a mess unnecessarily."

Shilo opened a few of the drawers and found Mag's shirts and sweaters in one of them. "They're in the third drawer down." She pulled out a long-sleeved tee that was either a very dark purple or navy depending on who you asked. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Mag turned away from Shilo to finish dressing. Shilo saw her feel for the tag at the back of the inside of the collar before pulling the shirt over her head. She also couldn't help but notice that there was no bra strap across Mag's back. Were bras too hard for her to handle by herself now that she couldn't see? "Do you have a hairbrush?"

"Well, I don't, since I don't have any hair…but some of Mom's old brushes are still in the bathroom." Shilo fetched one of them and immediately set to brushing Mag's hair. It was thick and silky and felt wonderful sliding through Shilo's fingers. "You have amazing hair," Shilo whispered.

"Thank you."

Shilo knew she took an unnecessarily long time brushing Mag's hair, but she couldn't stop herself from playing with it. She only stopped when Mag politely interjected that she was hungry and would like to proceed to the kitchen.

"Okay, let's go." Shilo put the brush down on her wardrobe.

"Wait…my cane…"

Shilo took Mag's hand. "I can walk with you."

They walked down the stairs to the kitchen together, and once there, Mag took a seat at the table while Shilo made them both instant oatmeal. "Mag? Um, Magdalene?"

"Yes?"

"You remember when I first met you? When you came here?"

"What about it?"

Shilo came to the table with the two bowls of oatmeal and two spoons. "Weren't you scared that GeneCo would…get angry with you if they found out you warned me about them? If I ended up ignoring Rotti's offer and they found out it was because of you?"

Mag shrugged lightly. "I was slated to die that night. I had nothing left to lose."

"Still. Why did you risk it?"

Mag smiled ever so slightly. "Because you're my goddaughter. I promised your mother I'd be part of your life. And…because I heard Rotti tell you he could help you too. No matter what would happen to me, I couldn't let GeneCo do to you what they did to me. Being ill or blind is infinitely better than being a slave of GeneCo."

Shilo walked to stand beside Mag and reached for her. "Magdalene…" Mag accepted Shilo's embrace, squeezing her tightly. Shilo buried her face in Mag's hair, trying and failing to suppress a sudden flood of affection. "I love you."

Mag stroked Shilo's back. "I love you too, little one. I know I can't be the parent you deserve…but I'm trying. It already feels like I've known you were my goddaughter since you were born."

Shilo closed her eyes. "That's not what I mean," she whispered.

Mag pulled back from the embrace. "What do you mean?" She sounded almost afraid. Panicked that Mag might react badly, Shilo reached out and stroked her cheek.

"I mean…I mean, I love you. But not…not like you're my godmother. It's just that you're…you've been through so much, but you're still taking care of me. You're…you're so strong, and so graceful, and…" Shilo knelt and rested her head on Mag's lap. "You're so beautiful. Even just in sweatpants in a T-shirt, you're the most beautiful sight I've ever laid eyes on."

Mag pushed her chair backwards. She was gripping the armrests like lifelines. "And I let you drug me…while I was sleeping…"

Instantly Shilo knew what Mag was thinking. "Mag, I'm not Amber! I could never hurt you!" She moved over to Mag and touched her arm lightly. "You can trust me. I could never hurt you."

Mag took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry. Of course I can trust you…I suppose I'm just…paranoid now."

"I don't blame you," Shilo whispered.

Mag straightened up and held out her arms for an embrace. In disbelief, Shilo obliged.

"I shouldn't have panicked." Mag kissed the top of Shilo's head. "You're still my goddaughter. And I still care about you."

"I think I've always loved you. I loved you when you were the voice of GeneCo, and now, knowing everything you've…you've survived…" A sound that could have been a sob or a laugh came from Shilo's throat. "I…how could I not fall in love with you?"

"Do you know how old I am?" Mag murmured.

"You're thirty-six. I know."

"I'm more than twice your age. It would…it would be wrong of me to…" Mag trailed off. "Shilo, I'm your godmother. I love you, but as my goddaughter. I cannot give you what you seek."

"I know." Shilo began to cry, and not just from disappointment, but from the thought of Mag being GeneCo's tormented slave for so many years and now being their fugitive with someone she had to take care of, but not someone who would take care of her. After all the hate Mag had suffered, didn't she deserve some kindness, some love?

"I don't want to hurt you." Mag rocked Shilo back and forth in the way that Shilo found so comforting. "I can't be your lover, but…I'll try not to hurt you. There are few things worse than unrequited love—and believe me, because I have been through most of them—but…I will try to make this as easy as possible for you."

"Thank you." Shilo buried her face in the front of Mag's shirt.

"It's all right, Shilo. Go ahead and cry."

Shilo did not cry for much longer; it was almost impossible to cry with Mag holding her. Soon having her face pressed to Mag's shirtfront became uncomfortable, because her shoulders were hunched; she stood straight, resulting in her head resting on Mag's shoulder. Her nose was brushing against Mag's neck; it required only a small motion to touch her lips to Mag's skin.

Mag flinched. "Shilo, please don't."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

Mag drew back from Shilo's embrace. "Keep in mind how many times I've heard that." Her voice was laced with bitterness.

A jolt of guilt shot through Shilo. After all the torture Mag had been through, Shilo had no right to take advantage of her. She'd seen Mag suffer from a flashback; what if unwanted affections reminded Mag of something horrible one of the Largos had done? Ashamed, she turned her back on her godmother. She felt her eyes stinging, water rolling down her cheeks as she ran, and she thought she could hear Mag calling her name as she bolted from the house.

Her legs carried her to Graverobber's alley. When she arrived there, she was gasping for air and could barely see through her own tears. Luckily, Graverobber was there. "Kid? Jesus, is somebody chasing you?"

"No." Shilo sniffled. She wiped her nose on the back of her hand and struggled to catch her breath. Too late she realized she didn't have her pills.

"Kid? Shilo? What's wrong?"

"I can't breathe." Shilo sank to her knees.

"What is it? Asthma?"

"Poison." Shilo remembered Mag's advice to keep her back straight and forced air into her lungs.

"The fuck…? Poison? Who poisoned you?"

After a few deep breaths, the spots in the corners of Shilo's eyes went away. It was a few more moments before she could speak. "I grew up thinking I had a blood disease. But it was really my dad poisoning me."

Graverobber's brow furrowed. "Well…that's fucked up."

Shilo inhaled and exhaled deeply a few more times. "He was trying to keep me safe. If I couldn't leave the house, nothing could happen to me."

Graverobber shrugged. "I still say it's fucked up." He sat down next to her.

Shilo didn't say anything.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so. I mean…I don't know what he was giving me. But I think I'll be getting better soon."

Graverobber's hand fell on her shoulder. "Maybe you shouldn't have come running out here like your ass was on fire if you have breathing issues."

Shilo wiped her eyes, thinking she could feel herself blushing. "I couldn't really…I couldn't really help it. I ran because I was ashamed."

"Ashamed of what?"

Shilo closed her eyes. "I…I told Mag I loved her."

"Wait, _what?_ Didn't you say she was your godmother?"

"Yes, but…I didn't mean it like that." Shilo buried her face in her hands. "I said I was in love with her. She kind of…freaked." She didn't feel like telling the whole story, about not being able to stop herself from kissing Mag.

Graverobber whistled. "I have to admit I did not peg you as being into girls."

"I'm not. Just…just Mag."

"She's a hell of woman."

"Yes." Shilo whispered. "She is." She leaned hear head onto Graverobber's shoulder, and his arm wrapped around her and gripped her almost roughly.

"Kid, she's way too old for you."

"And you're not?"

He snorted. "Do you even know how old I am?"

She looked up at him with a small smile. "No."

A high-pitched laugh interrupted their conversation. "Changing your name to Cradle-Robber?"

Graverobber rolled his eyes. Shilo looked up to see two women sashaying into the alley, both of them barely dressed, draped in fishnets and leather. She thought she recognized them from the first time she saw Graverobber selling Zydrate.

"Piss off, Tandi."

Tandi giggled. The sound reminded Shilo of a chainsaw for reasons she couldn't place. "How old is she? Twelve?"

"I'm seventeen," Shilo snapped.

"Better check her ID, Cradle-Robber," said the other girl. Her voice was low and raspy, as if she smoked a pack of cigarettes after every meal.

"The 'piss off' applies to you too, Kiki," Graverobber snarled. "Both of you know I'm out."

Tandi chuckled again and Shilo resisted the urge to wince. "We're not here just for the Z. Thought you might want to take on both of us. You're man enough for that, right?"

Kiki licked her lips and leered at Graverobber; this time Shilo wasn't able to refrain from flinching.

"Apparently 'piss off' wasn't enough to get rid of both of you. Let's try this again. Fuck off."

The two girls laughed raucously. "Never had a problem with being watched before, but maybe it's different when you're indulging your pedo side," Kiki snickered. "Have fun fucking your twelve-year-old." The two Zydrate addicts shuffled off.

"Sorry about those bitches."

"It's okay." She put her head down on his shoulder again and he squeezed her. "Does everybody call you Graverobber?"

"It's my name."

"Was it always?"

"No, but it's my name now. That's all that matters, isn't it?"

Shilo was still curious. "What was your name before?"

He shrugged off the question. "I don't like talking about that part of my life."

"Okay. So what do you like talking about?"

He shifted so he could look her in the eyes. "You."

Shilo held back a grin.

"You're really seventeen?"

"Yeah. I stopped growing early because…because of my illness."

"Shilo…what exactly happened the night of the opera? All the papers said was that Blind Mag took out her eyes, Rotti Largo died on stage, and that he offered you GeneCo but you declined. And it said that your dad was a GeneCo employee."

"He was a Repo Man," Shilo whispered.

"Seriously? He was a fucking Repo Man?"

"Rotti shot him. He died onstage." Shilo began to cry again.

"Hey. Hey, it's okay." He wrapped her in a tight hug and she pressed her face to his chest. Graverobber's hug was very different from Mag's gentle embrace, but just as comforting. "Did he at least apologize for the shit he did to you?"

"Mm-hmm. And it was Rotti who told me Dad was poisoning me. I don't know how he knew."

Graverobber gave her a squeeze. "So you found out your dad was a Repo Man, he made you sick, and then he got killed. What a shitty night."

Shilo wasn't crying particularly hard, but she still said nothing.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah…I think I'm actually healthy other than the poison. And I've even been breathing a little better lately, and I can go outside…"

"No, kid, I mean…are you going to be okay?"

Shilo sighed. "I…I think so. Mag helps. And…and you do too."

Graverobber moved one hand to the back of Shilo's head. "You're a good kid, Shilo." Her wig slipped underneath his fingers and he pulled back, puzzled.

"My hair fell out," Shilo mumbled as the wig slipped off her head. She found herself looking at the ground, ashamed, and felt Graverobber's hand cupping the back of her head again.

"You're cute."

She looked up at him shyly. "Really?"

"Yeah. You can pull off the bald look."

Shilo blushed. "I think you're teasing me."

"Kid, I mean it. I like you." He squeezed her hand, an almost playful gesture. "After all, you're one of the least fucked-up people I've ever met."

Shilo laughed out loud. "That's why you like me? I'm not 'fucked-up?'"

"Hey, this world fucks people up. It's nice to know it hasn't gotten to everybody."

Shilo sighed. "I should get home. Mag is probably worried about me. I just…I just kind of ran."

"Okay. Let's get you home." He released his grip on Shilo's hand and they walked together to his faux-GeneCop car. The ride passed mostly in silence, Shilo looking out the window and mentally rehearsing what she was going to say to Mag.

Let's get you home." He let her go and they walked together to his faux-GeneCop car. The ride passed mostly in silence, Shilo looking out the window and mentally rehearsing what she was going to say to Mag.

"Shilo? We're here." Graverobber had pulled up in front of the Wallace house. Shilo supposed it was now more like the Wallace/Defoe house. Silently, she got out of the car, and Graverobber parked and did the same. He slipped his hand into hers and walked her up to the gate. "Promise me the next time you need to talk to me you won't go running out of your house until you nearly make your own lungs explode."

A small smile stretched Shilo's lips. "I promise."

"Call me next time, okay?"

"I will."

He leaned over and kissed her. She was so startled by it that she flinched at first, but after a second she was kissing him back. It was not a particularly kind or gentle kiss, but she loved it all the same, and thought it was over too quickly. Then again, Graverobber knew she shouldn't be getting her heart rate up, and that was definitely what the kiss did to her.

"Take care of yourself, Shilo."

Not trusting her voice, Shilo nodded. She watched him go and drifted more than walked back inside.

Mag heard the door open. She'd been sitting in the kitchen since Shilo had bolted, turning the idea of Shilo being in love with her over and over in her head. It would make sense that Shilo would hero-worship the flashy, talented, commercialized celebrity Blind Mag…but Shilo seemed to care about the shy, naïve young woman who had disappeared under the mask of makeup and holographic eyes that GeneCo had forced her to wear. At least, that seemed to be why Shilo was calling her "Magdalene." But Mag wasn't Magdalene Defoe anymore. Nor was she Blind Mag. She felt like an empty, hollow shell of a woman, GeneCo having scooped out her personality instead of her physical insides. What was even left for Shilo to love but nightmares and memories of GeneCo chipping away at her piece by piece?

"Shilo?" Mag asked hesitantly. "Is that you?"

"Magdalene, it's me."

Mag stood up from the table and held out her arms to Shilo. The girl stepped into the embrace and hugged her tightly. "Shilo, don't just run out like that, please. I'll worry."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"I didn't mean to…to scare you off."

"It's okay." Shilo wrapped her arms tightly around Mag. "I panicked."

"I think we both did." Mag tenderly kissed the top of Shilo's head. Such a different kiss from the one she'd gotten from Graverobber, but sweet nonetheless. "Forgive me," Mag whispered. "Because of…what was done to me, I might…"

"No, I understand. It's all right."

"Shilo, I…not being able to see doesn't help. If you…if you want…a kiss, or…just please ask me."

Shilo nodded, and then realized Mag couldn't see her nodding. "Okay."

"Do you really love me?" Mag's voice was nearly inaudible.

"Yes." Shilo tucked her head underneath Mag's chin. When Graverobber hugged her, her ear was pressed right up against his heart; when Mag hugged her, she could rest her face against Mag's neck. Of course, that was why she had stolen that one kiss that made Mag flinch before, but nevertheless, Shilo loved how it felt to receive either embrace.

"I won't ask why," Mag murmured into Shilo's fake hair. "But…I can promise you I will try not to treat you any differently now. I trust you."

"Can I kiss your neck, Magdalene? Just once?"

Mag hesitated. "Yes."

Gently, Shilo touched her lips to the soft skin of Mag's throat, then buried her face in her godmother's shoulder to avoid the temptation of kissing her again.

"Thank you for asking."

"You're welcome." Shilo sighed. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I just…I'd think you'd want somebody to love you."

For a while, Mag didn't reply. "I don't know what I want. Except…to take care of you, as I promised to your mother, and now that I'm your guardian."

A fresh wave of affection struck Shilo and she squeezed Mag lightly. "You don't have to take care of me alone. I have Graverobber too."

"You have an interest in him, don't you?" Shilo could hear the disapproval in Mag's voice.

"He's a good man. I think…it seems like he just has to do his own thing. I bet he started robbing graves just because…because it was one thing he could do without working for GeneCo."

Mag laughed, soft and low. "Maybe I shouldn't judge him so quickly."

"He kissed me today."

"Really? Well…congratulations." Mag laughed again. "Perhaps your relationship with him will…distract you from me."

Shilo didn't know what to say. "Magdalene…I still love you."

Mag kissed the top of Shilo's head again. "I love you too, little one. Maybe not the way you want me to, but I do love you. And I…I don't know if I can take care of you. I don't…" Mag took a deep breath to steady herself. "I will try."

"And I'll try to make sure I don't ever make you uncomfortable." Shilo let go of Mag.

Mag's hand slid over Shilo's back, from the place at her waist where it had been during their embrace, moving to her throat and then up to cup her cheek. Shilo tried to repress a little shiver. "Thank you."

* * *

A/N: The scene between Shilo and GR still seems really awkward, but maybe that's because I just don't understand flirting. Um…yeah, that's all I got.


	5. What Chance Has a 17 Year Old Girl?

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Five: What Chance Has a 17-Year-Old Girl?

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: -sigh- I can't blame schoolwork on the lag between my last update and this one. But right now I'm going through some…shit that's making it hard for me to write about any (potentially) happy couple.  


* * *

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Mag and Shilo watched a film; it was one that Mag had seen, so she had some idea what was happening on-screen, and Shilo relayed the movie's events to Mag during the bits she didn't remember as well. And Mag allowed Shilo to lie down with her head in Mag's lap. After that, Mag retired to Shilo's room, and Shilo searched the house for books on psychology; she'd studied some psych during her pastiche of formal education that had mostly consisted of reading textbooks, but not much, and not nearly enough to understand what was going on with Mag.

Most of her psychology books contained sections on post-traumatic stress. Many of the symptoms sounded like what was happening to Mag, particularly the nightmares and the trouble sleeping (was that why she wanted Zydrate to help her sleep?). Only one of the books had a section on something called rape trauma syndrome. It was only a page long and she read it three times.

When it grew to be evening, Shilo went back to her room to see if Mag wanted something to eat. The former star was lying in Shilo's bed, apparently asleep.

"Magdalene?" Shilo touched her shoulder lightly. Mag sat up and reached out for Shilo's hand. "I'm sorry…did I wake you?"

"I was only resting. I couldn't sleep."

Shilo knelt on the bed. "Can I hug you?"

"Please."

Mag wrapped Shilo in a warm embrace. Shilo buried her face in Mag's shoulder and kissed her lightly through her T-shirt.

"I can't hold you without you wanting to kiss me, can I?"

"No," Shilo mumbled shamefacedly.

"Well…how about every time I hug you, I can just expect that?"

"Do you mean it?" Shilo whispered.

"Yes. I trust you."

Shilo turned her head and gently nuzzled and kissed the base of Mag's neck. Mag didn't flinch.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. It's all right if I…expect it."

"Thanks for…indulging me. I came in here to see if you were hungry."

"I am, thank you."

Shilo took Mag's hand and led her downstairs, where Mag waited patiently at the kitchen table while Shilo rummaged around, looking for something she could actually prepare.

"I…I don't think we have any dinner food I can actually make…" Shilo had been in the kitchen only a few times, and she certainly didn't know how to use the stove or oven. "I guess…there's still some…breakfast stuff…" Shilo suddenly felt helpless. She barely knew how to use the microwave to make instant oatmeal. And after the food in the house ran out, she didn't know where the nearest supermarket was, or how she would get there. Not to mention there was plenty of food in the kitchen that she couldn't do a damn thing with because she didn't know how to cook. "Why am I so helpless?" Shilo burst out.

Mag got up from the table and slowly made her way over to Shilo. "It isn't your fault your father kept you quarantined in your room. With the way you were raised, how could you possibly be self-sufficient?" Mag rested a palm on Shilo's shoulder after a few misses in which her hand met empty air.

"It's just frustrating." Shilo wiped away a tear.

"So is not being able to see," said Mag gently. "But I can cook. I can help you. If there's some way we can label the things in the kitchen in Braille, I might be able to cook for you."

"Maybe you can teach me?"

"Of course." Mag kissed the top of Shilo's head.

"Are ham and cheese sandwiches okay for tonight? I'm kind of hungry now…"

"Cheese." Mag sounded as if she might be about to laugh. "I can't remember the last time I ate cheese."

"Are you lactose intolerant?"

"No. Dairy products are bad for the voice."

"Oh. So…"

"Ham and cheese sandwiches are fine."

Shilo shook her head. "The most famous singer in the States is staying with me and I'm giving her sandwiches for dinner."

"Shilo…" Mag wrapped her arms around her goddaughter. "Please, don't treat me any differently because of my fame. I'm not…I'm not Blind Mag anymore."

"Then who are you?"

Instead of answering, Mag let go of Shilo and sat back down. Shilo found herself feeling guilty, particularly when Mag remained silent for the rest of dinner. After they were finished eating, Shilo tried to get Mag to speak again.

"Magdalene?"

Mag didn't reply, but she turned her face toward Shilo.

"Do you think we should…leave this city? You were so worried about Amber running GeneCo…"

Mag flinched, but she answered. "It wouldn't matter. If Amber wants to use all of GeneCo's resources to find me, she will, no matter where I go. And…I'm blind again, and you've barely left this house. We have a better chance if we stay here. It all depends on whether Amber wants one more…crack at me."

Shilo walked over to where Mag was sitting and threaded her fingers through the former star's hair. "I hope she doesn't. I don't want to lose you. You're all I have."

"I'd hate to leave you alone." Mag's voice was nearly a whisper. "After you lost your father…not that I'm much help…"

"You are! I'd be lost without you."

"I know. You're in love with me." Mag leaned her head back into the girl's caresses. "Shilo…you won't like this, but there's something I want to say."

"Go ahead." Shilo could suddenly hear her heartbeat quite clearly.

"It's not that I don't believe you love me. I do. But do you think you might have fallen in love with…with the person GeneCo made me into? With Blind Mag, the celebrity?"

"You think I have a celebrity crush on you?" Shilo tucked a few stray strands of hair behind one of Mag's ears.

"I can't speak for you. But that is…what I suspect."

Shilo wrapped her arms around Mag's neck. "Well…maybe I did. I always admired you. You were my favorite singer. But then after you lost your eyes, and came to live here…" Shilo kissed Mag's hair. "I can't believe everything GeneCo did to you. If it were me, I think I would have killed myself. But you survived. And you…and when you finally decided you couldn't take it anymore, you…well, you faced your death with dignity. I mean, you took your own eyes out! And that look on your face, that…smile…"

Mag chuckled lowly. "I hope Rotti Largo saw that. I wanted him to know…I was finally free of GeneCo. Or at least I thought I was."

"It's not just the fact that you were famous, or your voice…you're brave, and graceful, and…" Shilo closed her eyes. "You're amazing."

"Thank you, Shilo…but…you asked me earlier who I was now…and I don't know. I feel like…" Mag trailed off. "You don't need to hear this."

"It's okay. Really. Haven't we been over this?" Shilo pleaded. "You told me about what GeneCo did to you…"

"And I shouldn't have," Mag cut her off.

"Magdalene…"

"Shilo, I'm thirty-six years old. I'm your godmother. I'm more than twice your age." Mag pulled away from Shilo.

The doorbell rang, and Mag sat up ramrod straight, as if she were a startled rabbit about to bolt. Shilo laid her hands on Mag's shoulders. "It's okay." She went to the door and opened it. A rather unremarkable-looking man in a business suit stood on the stoop. "May I help you?"

"Are you Shilo Wallace?"

"Yes sir, I am."

"My name is Jack Pressman, associate banker with the Sanitarium Island GeneCo Bank. According to our records, you are the next of kin of the late Nathan Wallace."

"Yes, I'm his daughter."

The man handed her a slip of paper. "You'll have to come down to the bank to verify everything, but all of his money has been left to you."

"Really?" Shilo took the paper. She supposed it wasn't too much of a surprise, but in light of her father's death and what had been going on between her and both Mag and Graverobber, her inheritance hadn't exactly occurred to her. "All right. Um…thank you, Mr. Pressman."

"We'll be expecting you some time within the week. You may come in at any time, but I would advise you to call and make an appointment in advance so you won't have to wait."

Shilo nodded. "I will."

"Take care, Miss Wallace." The banker dipped his head curtly.

"You too."

Shilo shut the door and turned around to see that Mag was no longer in the kitchen. "Magdalene?"

Mag peeked out from behind the doorway.

"It's okay. It was just someone from the bank."

Mag let out a short sigh. "I suppose the GeneCops would have simply knocked down the door."

Shilo put down the piece of paper and went to wrap her arms around Mag; Mag returned the embrace and squeezed Shilo tightly. Shilo ran her hands over Mag's back as gently as she could, eventually reaching up to caress the woman's hair. "You're shaking."

"I'm sorry. When the doorbell rang, I…I assumed the worst."

Shilo traced circles on Mag's scalp. Mag didn't make any noise, but Shilo had her face pressed against Mag's throat and felt her vocal chords vibrate with a suppressed groan. Gently, Shilo kissed Mag's neck. "It's okay."

Mag let Shilo hold her for a while longer and didn't even complain when Shilo couldn't help but drop a few more kisses on Mag's throat. Specifically, Mag let Shilo hold her until Mag wasn't trembling anymore.

"It doesn't bother you that I love you?"

"And by that you mean you can't help but kiss me?"

Shilo blushed. "Yes."

"No. It doesn't. Keep in mind what I'm used to."  


* * *

The following day, Shilo returned to the bank to sort out the issue of her inheritance. The amount of money that became hers after a few signatures seemed staggering, but she realized she had little to no idea how much any given amount of credits could buy.

After she came home from the bank, she and Mag spoke about Shilo's prospects. Mag seemed worried about both Shilo's lack of formal education and lack of work experience, though Nathan had home-schooled her to a degree.

"Shilo, your inheritance is certainly an excellent windfall…but it won't last forever. And forgive me, but I don't think your father intended for you to go to college."

As they were having this discussion while lying close in Shilo's bed that evening, Shilo was able to stifle her groan of frustration against Mag's shoulder. "You don't think I'd be able to pay?"

"Well…it would depend. But it's unlikely."

"What do you think I should do?"

Mag paused for a moment. "Perhaps…you could seek a part-time job for a little work experience and money, and in the meantime try to figure out what requirements you still need for college."

"Maybe I could take classes from home," Shilo sighed.

"Shilo…you were kept locked inside for so long, and now that you've cast off your chains, you should actually take the chance to live in the outside world."

Something occurred to Shilo. "You'd be okay with me going to college? And leaving you alone in the house?"

"You are my primary concern." Mag gave Shilo a gentle squeeze. Shilo tucked her head under Mag's chin.

"Does it bother you that I like to cuddle with you?"

"No."

"Mmm…good." Shilo closed her eyes. "You're cozy."

Mag laughed outright. Shilo wondered if she'd ever heard Mag laugh in a way that wasn't bitter before. "I would think I'd be too thin to be 'cozy.'"

"You are." Shilo fell asleep only a few minutes later. She slept straight through the night, and Mag was still sleeping when she woke up. Shilo disentangled herself carefully and went downstairs. She retrieved that day's copy of _The Daily Slice _(more reputable, she thought, than its biweekly counterpart _The Evening Slice_) and looked through the want ads for something she could do. Mag came downstairs about fifteen minutes later.

"Shilo? Where are you?"

"I'm in the kitchen, Mag."

Mag came in, using her cane. She was wearing a robe and had obviously made a (somewhat successful) attempt to comb her hair by herself. Shilo got up and helped her sit down.

"Thank you. What are you up to?"

"Just looking at want ads. There are a couple that look okay…just minimum wage, easy things to start out."

"You should make sure they're in good areas," Mag pointed out. "And fairly close."

"I don't really know where…where anything is," Shilo muttered, blushing.

"Can you read off the addresses of the places you're looking at? I can tell you if they're in good areas."

Shilo did so. It turned out there was only one place that was both nearby and in a safe area. It was a restaurant that was part of a popular chain called Happy Heart Hamburger. "I don't think it'd be hard to flip burgers, but…I guess I'm nervous."

"I'm sure," said Mag gently. "At least it's close enough that you can take the bus."

"Yeah." Shilo leaned against Mag and got a hug in response.

"I know you're nervous."

"It's just…I wanted so badly to go outside, but now…I'm free, I can leave if I want…but it's harder than I expected."

Mag rocked Shilo gently back and forth. "It's frightening, isn't it?"

Shilo nodded.

"Try not to worry too much. I know you're afraid, but…you can't let your fear control you. Would you believe I had stage fright after I first got my eyes?"

"Stage fright? Really?" Shilo laughed. "I can't picture that."

"I'd never been able to see all the people watching me before. Being able to see gave a me new freedom, to a degree…"—Mag sighed, and Shilo knew she was thinking of the fact that GeneCo had practically enslaved her—"but it was also quite an adjustment."

Shilo nodded; since Mag was still holding her, she could actually feel the gesture.  


* * *

Shilo ended up successfully getting a part-time waitressing job at Happy Heart Hamburger. She worked from eleven AM to five PM on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and after she was done with work she would either come home to eat dinner and spend time with Mag or go out with Graverobber. On the days she didn't work, she mostly stayed inside and read up on the academic subjects that needed the most study. Mag helped as much as she could, considering the fact that she had gone to an arts high school and majored in music performance at university. Mag also taught Shilo Braille and figured out a way to make indentations in paper with a stylus so when the paper was flipped over, the bumps would be raised like Braille letters. Armed with this knowledge, Shilo marked several useful apparatuses, drawers, cabinets and rooms in the house with makeshift Braille labels so Mag would have an easier time of things while Shilo was at work.

Most days when Shilo spent time with Graverobber, they would get something to eat for dinner and then he would bring Shilo home. During Shilo's third week of work, Graverobber picked her up from work and, instead of taking her straight home after they ate, they went for a walk in one of the less squalid areas in the city. Graverobber seemed to have made an attempt to dress in less seedy-looking clothes than usual, so they didn't attract many stares. Their rather meandering walk led them back to the Wallace residence, where Graverobber again kissed her goodbye.

Mag was concerned when Shilo got back into the house. "Where were you? I worried."

"I was just out with Graverobber."

"You've never gotten back before six before. It's nearly eight. Why didn't you call to let me know everything was all right?"

"Why didn't you call me?" Shilo countered. Mag looked flustered.

"I…I was afraid you'd think I was smothering you. After how your father treated you, I…I didn't want you to feel like I was being overprotective."

"If you knew I was with Graverobber, why were you worried?" Shilo pressed.

Mag bit her lips. "Shilo, he does make a living selling illegally acquired drugs."

"Graverobber helped me get your Zydrate and your fake eyes. Would you rather I be with you?" Shilo retorted.

Mag sighed. "Shilo, I worry about you, that's all. We've both almost lost everything, and you're all I have left. I don't want to lose you."

Shilo hesitated. "I'm sorry I snapped."

"It's all right. As long as you trust him. I just don't want you to be hurt, or…taken advantage of."

Shilo hugged Mag gently. "I do trust him. He…kind of has trouble showing it, but he does care about me."

"As long as you're safe."  


* * *

A/N: Yeah, this one is kind of short. -shrug- I'm uninspired. Don't know what else to say.


	6. The Man Who Made You Sick

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Six: The Man Who Made You Sick

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: Don't ask why this update took so long. Do not fucking ask. All you need to know is that it involved me getting my heart snapped in two and what was nearly a psych ward stay, so I wasn't exactly focused on writing.

* * *

That night, Mag slept in Shilo's bed as usual, but considering Mag's discomfort in response to Shilo's "Would I rather be with you?" remark earlier, Shilo chose to not lie as close to her godmother as she normally did. Except she couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about something else Mag had said, the fact that both of them had lost almost everything. Mag had lost her sight, her career, and her last vestiges of freedom. She was no longer GeneCo's slave, but she could not leave the house without Shilo's help, and even if she could, she ran the risk of being hunted down by GeneCo again.

And Shilo had lost her father.

A pang of sadness struck Shilo so suddenly she cried out. She had wished for freedom from her father's oppression, and now she had it, but he had kept her so sheltered that she hardly had any idea where to go now. Wasn't there any way he could have kept her safe without keeping her from learning about the outside world, without poisoning her?

"Magdalene?" Shilo shook her godmother. "Magdalene?"

But Mag still needed Zydrate to sleep, and was too deeply under the influence of the drug to wake. Shilo clung to her, crying softly, pressing herself against Mag for comfort. She slept briefly and fitfully, and after a few hours her weeping woke Mag.

"Shilo? Are you all right?"

"No," Shilo sniffled.

Mag immediately cradled the girl in her arms, surprisingly alert. "What's wrong?"

"Dad…"

"Do you miss him?"

"Why did he poison me?" Shilo wept.

They'd spoken about that already, but of course Mag didn't expect Shilo to feel at ease about what her father had done after only one conversation. "He was trying to protect you."

"He made me so weak!" Shilo sobbed.

"He was misguided," said Mag gently. "When your mother died, it destroyed him. It drove him to…extremes. And he was the one who told me that you had died with your mother. He was trying to hide you, and…I think perhaps, deep down, he knew what he was doing to you was wrong. If I'd found out what he was doing to you, I'd have tried to stop him."

"I wish you had." Shilo buried her face in Mag's shoulder. "I thought I'd forgiven him…"

"It's hard to forgive someone who deprived you of anything resembling a normal childhood." Mag paused. "But he was trying to protect you. It was too much, it wasn't right, but he knew the world was cruel, and he was certainly right about that. Particularly considering how corrupt and terrible GeneCo is. He had the right idea; too keep you safe. But he went about it completely wrong." Mag stroked Shilo's back gently. Shilo clung, tucking her head under Mag's chin. "Shilo, you won't get over this overnight. It won't be easy." Mag kept caressing Shilo until she stopped crying.

"Magdalene…thanks, for…for holding me like this. It doesn't bother you, does it?" Shilo kissed Mag's neck. She'd stopped asking permission for that, even if the neck-kiss resulted from an embrace that was horizontal rather than vertical.

"No. I'm used to violence. Your…affections don't bother me."

"How many times were you…attacked?"

Mag snorted. "I lost count even before Rotti's children."

Shilo whimpered and gave Mag a squeeze; Mag returned the gesture.

"It wasn't all bad."

"How can it have…not been all bad?"

Mag sighed. "There was one…eir name was Bronwyn."

Shilo wasn't sure she'd heard right for a moment. "Um…'eir?'"

"Bronwyn was biologically female, but genderqueer. And ey wasn't nearly as unhinged as most of the people GeneCo hired to…well…ey was really a mistake on their part. I ended up in bed with Bronwyn mostly because I expected it. But ey was actually kind…and horrified when ey found out that GeneCo expected em to attack me." Mag sighed. "We kept seeing each other, trying to be as discreet as possible. I was worried about what GeneCo would do if they found out, but Bronwyn had never had an organ replacement, so they couldn't put em up for early repossession."

"What happened?" Shilo asked softly. "Did you two break up?"

"No." Mag's voice was choked. "I was wrong. Ey was marked for repossession."

"What? But I thought you said…"

"When I didn't hear from em for a while, I checked eir records. I had an office in the GeneCo tower, and everybody assumed I couldn't cause any harm or learn anything—I was only an opera singer; what threat could I pose?—so when I…wandered…I was warned or advised to leave, but never forced to. I found out that ey had been marked for repossession and when the Repo Man sent to kill em found no organs marked by GeneCo, he was told it was a mistake."

"So…GeneCo killed, um, Bronwyn?" Shilo made a mental note to look up gender-neutral pronouns the next day. "How did they find out about you two?"

"I don't know. I suspected one of my valets who sometimes drove me to meet em. I tried to bribe her to stay quiet, but she must have told Rotti."

"I'm sorry," Shilo whispered.

"At least we were happy for a while. And instead of another rapist, I got a lover. But…I told her it wasn't safe for us to be together, but she was so headstrong…"

Shilo swallowed hard. "If she wasn't…crazy…why did GeneCo pick her? I mean…um…if ey wasn't crazy, why did GeneCo pick ey?"

Mag laughed lightly. "Use 'ey' in place of 'she' and 'em' in place of 'her.' An easy way to figure it out is to imagine you were using a singular 'they' or 'them' and take off the 'th.' Bronwyn had to teach me that. And speaking of which, I think the interviewer assumed that since ey was genderqueer, ey must have been unstable somehow."

Shilo looked up at Mag. "If Bronwyn was genderqueer and you were in love with em…what does that make you?" Shilo asked cautiously.

Mag gave a long sigh. "I've never quite figured that out. Queer, I suppose. Beyond that…" she trailed off.

Shilo was still curious, but she knew better than to pry. So she nestled her head under Mag's chin again and was quiet.

"Shilo? I'm sorry, did I upset you?"

"No." Shilo closed her eyes. "I just figured I should stop being nosy."

"Thank you." Mag planted a kiss on the top of Shilo's head. "Good night, Shilo."

The next morning, Shilo took to reading her academic books immediately after breakfast. She seemed unusually nervous and preoccupied with her studies; Mag hazarded to ask Shilo if something was bothering her.

"I don't know if I can do this," Shilo burst out. "I've never been to any school. I would read textbooks and skip what wasn't interesting. I barely know any math beyond geometry. I read almost no classic literature. The only chemistry I know is…is Avogadro's number!"

Mag cautiously moved closer to Shilo, reaching out for the girl until her hand met Shilo's arm. "There's no law that says you have to be ready for college at eighteen. I know you want to go soon, but you can take however long you need. Perhaps you can hire a tutor with some of your inheritance money."

Shilo took Mag's hand. "Yeah…maybe I should get a tutor. I'm just not getting this…" Shilo laid an open palm on a page of the book she was reading.

"What are you studying?"

"Algebra," Shilo groaned.

Mag made a sympathetic noise. "I'd help, but…"

"I know. You went to an arts high school, majored in music performance for a year, and then…"

"GeneCo. Yes."

Shilo buried her face in her hands. "I'm just worried. I feel like this will take years."

Mag squeezed Shilo's shoulder. "You can do it."

Shilo stood up and hugged Mag tightly. "I have to go to work soon," she mumbled. "I'll be worrying about this all day."

Mag left a soft kiss on Shilo's forehead; she seemed to have figured out how much those small gestures of affection meant. "Try not to think about it. I know it's not nearly as easy as it sounds. But you can't let this get to you."

Shilo clung to Mag for a while without saying anything. When she spoke, her voice was so quiet Mag could barely hear her. "It's hard."

"I know." Mag rocked Shilo back and forth.

"Everything is hard right now."

"It will get better," Mag soothed. "I wish I could say something more comforting than 'this too shall pass,' but much of what you're feeling right now will get better with time and, in the case of your academic pursuits, work."

This time Shilo said nothing. She simply let Mag hold her until it was time for her to get to work. When that time came, Mag walked with Shilo up the stairs and stayed with her while she changed into her uniform. "I feel ridiculous," Shilo complained, pulling at the hem of her skirt.

"What does your uniform look like? Do I want to know?"

Shilo sighed and looked down at herself. "I'm wearing a skirt that's shorter than I'd like and I'm not allowed to wear leggings under it. The top is…kind of a polo, I guess, and pretty tight. Everything is shiny and bright yellow. Like, hurt-your-eyes yellow."

Mag made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat. "How wonderfully tasteful."

Shilo couldn't help but grin; Mag's dry, sarcastic wit rarely showed up, but Shilo liked it when it did. "Oh, by the way, I'll be home late. Graverobber is going to pick me up after work and we're going to take a walk."

"Doesn't he have a name?"

"He doesn't like talking about…about when he had another name."

"Hmm."

Shilo knew Mag well enough to identify when she was being disapproving; she squeezed Mag's hand to mollify her. "He's a good man. There just isn't room for good men in the world GeneCo created."

Mag smiled grimly. "From what I've seen, I wouldn't call him a good man, though he does have good in him. Things aren't always that black and white."

"I would call GeneCo evil," said Shilo grimly. She pulled down her skirt. "Ugh. Maybe I'll start wearing shorts underneath this stupid skirt."

"How short is it?"

"It barely covers my ass," Shilo sighed.

"I am going to ignore my godmotherly duties for a moment and let that curse slide…is there any way you can ask for a longer skirt?"

"No," Shilo replied glumly.

"You aren't getting unwanted attention, are you?" Mag's voice was suddenly severe.

"I think it's to be expected that I get 'unwanted attention' from the customers."

"Don't say that!" Mag snapped; Shilo flinched. "It should never be 'expected' that you be treated badly or made uncomfortable."

Shilo swallowed hard. She knew Mag was trying to prevent the awful things that had happened to her from happening to Shilo, even if it was as small as customers wolf-whistling at her.

"Come here," Mag ordered. Shilo walked over; Mag reached for Shilo's waist, lightly running one hand down the skirt until she reached the hem. "It _does _barely cover your ass."

Shilo giggled helplessly at the sound of Mag cursing, but cut off the laugh quickly because Mag looked furious. "You really should put on some shorts under that. You said you're not allowed to wear leggings; what did they say about shorts?"

"Nothing."

"Then put some on. If they didn't say anything specific against it, assume it's allowed."

Shilo almost snickered. "Did that work for GeneCo?"

A ghost of a smile passed over Mag's lips, and for a moment Shilo wondered if Mag was really as broken as she thought she was. "Well enough."

* * *

Shilo ended up digging a pair of clingy but comfortable black shorts out of her closet, pulling them on, and racing to work, arriving there barely on time. Her supervisor, Rube, gave her an ugly look when he saw her shorts, but said nothing.

The workday passed in a haze. Shilo daydreamed through most of it; flipping burgers and waiting tables didn't exactly take an enormous amount of attention, except for when customers asked for extravagant, ridiculously detailed orders that could surely only be safely handled by bodies with GeneCo-augmented arteries. (Did GeneCo replace blood vessels, or just hearts? And if they did replace blood vessels, did they only replace large, significant ones like the aorta or carotid? How could a blood vessel even be successfully removed once implanted?) Thinking about anatomy reminded her of her extensive knowledge of biology but incredibly limited knowledge of chemistry and physics, but after speaking to Mag about her academic pursuits earlier that day, she felt less panicked. She made a mental note to start bringing one of her books to work so she could study during her lunch break.

After her shift ended, Graverobber showed up, loitering outside as if he belonged there. He garnered some odd looks—the Happy Heart Hamburger where Shilo worked was in a fairly nice area of Sanitarium City, not too far from the square—but of course, no one bothered him. Shilo found herself both envying and admiring his charisma. He spotted her through the window and blew her a kiss. She waved back and made a helpless gesture at her uniform, indicating that she had to change her clothes before coming outside. She darted into the bathroom and changed into a short (but not nearly as obnoxiously short as the one required for her uniform) black skirt and white blouse with a dark maroon button-up vest over the blouse.

"Cute," was Graverobber's remark as she exited the restaurant.

"Thanks." Shilo hoped she wasn't blushing.

Graverobber took one of her hands. "Come on. I've never liked this part of town."

"You don't exactly fit in here." Shilo pointed out. "It's weird how many people who come into the restaurant just talk about GeneCo, and how sad it is that Mr. Largo died."

"You mean Rotti."

"Yeah." Shilo sighed. "Everybody acts like he was some kind of…holy hero." She looked up at Graverobber. "Did people always act like that when he was alive?"

By now, Graverobber had become accustomed to Shilo asking him fairly global questions about the world outside her bedroom, particularly relating to things that were happening before she left the grounds of the Wallace house for the first time.

"Mostly. Sometimes, some ballsy reporter would write a story about whether or not Rotti was actually a corrupt bastard, usually for _The Evening Slice._"

"I didn't think _The Evening Slice _was that reputable."

Graverobber snorted. "It's not, except for the occasional completely true exposé about something GeneCo-related, which of course nobody believes except for paranoid nutcases. Still, the poor asshole who wrote the exposé loses their kidneys, or just their job if he's lucky."

"Ugh." Shilo was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes I don't blame my dad for…for isolating me."

"Hey, I've said it before. The world is fucked up." When Shilo didn't reply, Graverobber continued. "Kid? You okay?" He punctuated the question with a squeeze of her hand.

"I guess." By then, they had left the most glossy and glitzy part of the city and were heading in the direction of the alley-riddled, run-down areas where Graverobber normally spent his time. "It's so weird. All I wanted was to get out of my house. Now…the outside world…" she trailed off, ashamed.

"Scares you?" Graverobber finished. Shilo shot him a hurt look. "It's okay, kid. I don't blame you for being freaked."

Shilo looked down at her feet for a moment, letting Graverobber lead her. "I only really feel safe at home, with Mag. Or if I'm outside, I only feel safe with you. Even at work, I feel…uneasy."

"You get a lot of creepazoid asswipes hitting on you, don't you?"

"Yeah. I think the uniforms are designed to get that kind of…attention."

"Blind Mag let you work there?"

"It was one of my better options," said Shilo grimly. "But I thought she was going to bite somebody's head off when I told her I was getting, um, creepazoid asswipes hitting on me."

"Blind Mag? Really?"

Shilo nodded. "She's actually pretty protective of me. I mean, she is my godmother."

"And yet she lets you hang around with a grave-robber?"

Shilo smiled bleakly. "She's not too happy about it, but you did get her Zydrate and fake eyes. Also…I did something kind of mean. I asked her if she would rather I be with her, and all she could say was that she didn't want me to get hurt. She couldn't really bring herself to forbid me from going out with you after that."

"She's not into you, then?"

"She says I'm too young for her. But really I think she promised my mom she'd be my godmother and take care of me. She feels like it would be wrong to, you know, return my interest."

"She is into women, though?"

"She doesn't really know," Shilo hedged. "But, yeah, I think she only lets me go out with you so I won't chase after her."

Graverobber gave her a sideways, knowing look, having not missed Shilo's effort to steer the conversation away from Mag's sexual orientation. "Would you like to go somewhere?"

"For dinner? Okay."

Graverobber didn't like being in public places for too long and Shilo didn't like being around large groups of unfamiliar people, so they went to a nearby Thai place for noodle soup and made their order to go. Carrying their soup in heavy paper containers, they walked to one of Graverobber's favorite alleys and sat down to eat.

"I've never gotten soup as carry-out before," Shilo remarked as she fumbled with her chopsticks.

"You've never eaten with chopsticks before either, have you?" Graverobber queried, noting the awkward movements of Shilo's hands.

"No." Shilo blushed. She found herself watching Graverobber eat, working the chopsticks as if he had been using them since he was born. How had a grave-robber learned to eat with chopsticks? "Is there anything you're not good at?"

He laughed, a short barking sound. "Let me help." He reached over to Shilo, taking her right hand in both of his, manipulating her fingers until she was holding the chopsticks like pencils. "Try that."

Shilo made another go at capturing a cluster of egg noodles with her chopsticks and this time managed to pick them up.

"There you go."

"Thanks."

Shilo's wrist communicator beeped. "Oh—it's Mag." Shilo answered. "Hi, Mag."

"Shilo? I know you said you'd be home late, but I expected you home by now."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm with Graverobber. We got Thai."

"Just checking. I'll see you at home."

"Bye, Mag." She hung up and looked apologetically at Graverobber. "Like I said, she's protective."

"It's okay."

Shilo finished as much of her soup as she could; since she was so small, she could only eat half of her bowl. Graverobber ended up finishing all of her soup as well as his. While he was eating, Shilo moved to sit next to him, her head resting on his shoulder. Barely half a second after he put his bowl down, Shilo felt his arms lock around her waist, and she gave a breathless squeal as he pulled her into his lap.

"So Mag is protective of you?" Shilo felt his breath on her ear, and she shivered in a way that was not entirely unpleasant. "I hope she doesn't mind two people being protective of you." He squeezed her tightly.

Shilo felt blood rush to her cheeks again. "I think I've had enough of people being protective of me," she whispered.

Graverobber loosened his grip on her. "What's wrong?"

Shilo closed her eyes, a few tears leaking out from beneath her eyelids.

"Kid? What's wrong?" He slid her to the curb beside him so he could look at her face.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, rubbing her nose on the back of her hand.

"Hey, don't apologize." Considering that Graverobber had a Y chromosome, he wasn't particularly skilled at identifying why he had upset a woman, so he waited for Shilo to explain. After a short while, she did.

"You remember what I told you about my dad?"

"He poisoned you. And he was a Repo Man."

Shilo nodded. "If there was one word to describe my dad, it'd be 'protective.' Well, maybe 'overprotective.'"

Graverobber gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Look up 'overprotective' in the dictionary and see a picture of your dad, huh?"

Shilo made a noise that might have been a laugh, a sob, or both. "I'm so confused. I don't ever want somebody to treat me like my dad did. But I want…I want to be safe. It's nice that you care, and that Mag cares, but I don't…I don't know…"

"You don't know what's normal?" Graverobber finished.

Shilo nodded again, her sobs growing louder. "It's so confusing. Everything is so confusing. I want to be with you, I do, but I don't…I don't know what to feel. It felt good when you yelled at those Zydrate addicts who were bothering us. But sometimes…I don't know…" Words failed Shilo and she buried her face in her hands.

By now, Graverobber knew Shilo well enough to understand what would help. So he picked her up, arranging her bridal style in his arms, across his lap, so she could rest her head on his shoulder. She barely weighed anything.

"I'm sorry," Shilo whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry I get like this."

"It's okay." He kissed the top of her head roughly. "It's okay, kid. You'll figure all this crap out. You're going to be okay."

He had to repeat it a few times, but eventually, Shilo found herself believing him.

* * *

A/N: Shit, now I really want Thai food. And of course Graverobber can use chopsticks. Graverobber can do anything.


	7. Take Her Down

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Seven: Take Her Down

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: Doing much better than I was when I last updated. I can has fanfic muses again.

* * *

Shilo got home very late. She had stayed in Graverobber's arms in a while, crying, and even after she had stopped weeping she hadn't wanted to move. He hadn't said anything, but he had somehow known to keep holding her and that she didn't need to hear him reassure her; she needed a long embrace and silence in which to get lost for a little while. When she finally allowed herself to let go of him, he walked her home, holding her hand. He gave her a long kiss goodbye at the door and a quiet "See you soon, kid."

She walked into the house feeling almost as if she were floating. She was expecting for Mag to have already gone to bed, so she was startled to hear noise coming from the kitchen. "Magdalene?" she called. "Are you awake?"

"I'm in the kitchen, Shilo," Mag replied.

Shilo could have sworn she smelled cooking food. Had Mag somehow managed to cook something? Sure enough, when she walked into the kitchen, Mag was carefully taking a pot off of the stove.

"I can't see your face, but I'm sure you're surprised." Mag smiled serenely.

"I didn't know you could cook," Shilo blurted out.

"When I first started working for GeneCo, they immediately began pampering me. This included preparing my food. Of course, they were trying to make me dependent on them. So one of the first things I learned to do after I gained my sight—after I learned to read music, of course—was cook. It's been a while since I called you, so I thought you might be hungry when you got home."

Shilo couldn't help but smile. "Well, this is a really nice surprise." She put her bag down next to the table and walked over to Mag. "What did you make? It smells delicious."

"It's rice cake soup, in case you were still in the mood for Asian food. It's a Korean recipe."

"Um, Magdalene? How did you…?"

"Very carefully," said Mag, her smile growing wider. "And, of course, your Braille labeling was a great help."

"Thank you." Standing behind Mag, Shilo wrapped her arms around her godmother and kissed her shoulder. "May I try some?"

"Of course."

Because she was faster, Shilo retrieved two bowls from a cabinet and ladled out small portions for herself and Mag. They sat down at the table. Shilo sipped a spoonful of her soup. "This is really good!"

"Thank you. It's my first time cooking blind, so I was a bit concerned I'd made a horrible mistake that I couldn't see."

Shilo took another spoonful. "What's in this?"

Mag thought about it. "The broth is beef-based…other than that, Korean rice cakes, egg, scallions, soy sauce, and pepper. It's quite fast and easy."

"You'll have to teach me how to make it." It had indeed been a while since her dinner with Graverobber, and Shilo ate hungrily. Mag ate slowly, and Shilo finished first; after she was done with her soup, she walked over to Mag and hugged her tightly from the side. "Thank you," she whispered. "You take such good care of me."

"I try, little one." Mag put down her spoon and stood up, allowing Shilo to embrace her properly. Shilo gently nuzzled and kissed Mag's neck. "I'm lucky," Shilo murmured.

"What was that?"

"I said, I'm lucky." Shilo touched her lips to the underside of Mag's chin. "I have both you and Graverobber to take care of me. Even though…even though Dad's gone." She closed her eyes. "You don't have to let me do this."

"I've grown used to it," said Mag warmly. She rocked Shilo from side to side, tilting her head back to invite the girl to kiss her again. Shilo did, marveling to herself at how different Mag's delicate body was so different from Graverobber's muscular one, and yet she found both quite attractive. "I've grown used to how kind you are," Mag added softly. "My goddaughter…"

Shilo smiled and tightened her arms around Mag. No matter who she was with, she loved being held. "I love you, Magdalene."

"I love you too." Mag let go of Shilo to cup her face and kiss her forehead.

Shilo sighed. "You're a good godmother."

"I try."

Shilo nestled her head under Mag's chin again. "Magdalene?"

"Yes?"

"Can we cuddle?"

Mag chuckled lowly. "Of course."

Shilo helped Mag to the living room, where they lay down together on one of the couches. There was little room if they lay lie side by side, so Mag draped Shilo over her, the girl's cheek pressed to the older woman's heart. "Thank you," Shilo murmured into the fabric of Mag's T-shirt.

"You're welcome." Mag passed a hand over Shilo's back.

"Why do you let me do this?"

"Because I trust you. Because it's comforting. Because I like to feel that you're here, since I can't see you."

It was indeed comforting, Shilo mused as her eyes drifted shut. Being around Graverobber gave her butterflies in her stomach, made her excited, but still safe and protected; being close to Mag made her feel calm and at ease.

The two people she was interested in were so different. Graverobber was roguish, rough around the edges; Mag was cultured and graceful. Graverobber was confident and self-assured; Mag still had more dark secrets and mental issues than she was willing to admit. Graverobber lived his life according to his own rules; Mag's life had been hijacked and ruined by GeneCo. Really, the greatest similarity between Mag and Graverobber was that they both had nice hair. Mag was wonderful, but she was doing a fine job of helping Shilo through the loss of her father as a godmother and not as a lover. And Shilo was happy with Graverobber. Really, a relationship with someone as self-possessed as Graverobber was best for Shilo in her healing state; Mag was too fragile.

Shilo let out a tiny sob. Mag heard the noise and wrapped her arms around the girl. "What's wrong, little one?"

"I still love you," Shilo mumbled.

"I know," Mag said gently. "You said as much a few minutes ago."

"But we're never going to be together, are we?"

Mag was quiet for a few moments. "I know it's hard for you. But I feel most comfortable as your godmother." She laughed bitterly. "I shouldn't be anyone's lover. I'm too damaged."

Shilo leaned up and kissed Mag's cheek. "I'm happy with Graverobber. But…I wish things were different, for us."

"Part of me agrees with you," Mag sighed, resuming her caresses on Shilo's back. "It will get easier. And I will try to take care of you as best I can."

"Okay." Shilo laid her head back down. She would have given any sum of money to kiss Mag's lips at that moment; she reminded herself that she was lucky that Mag did love her in some context and was willing to hold her like this.

Shilo was tired, and was so comfortable cuddling with Mag that she was nearly asleep when all hell broke loose.

A massive crashing sound came from the front of the house. Shilo gasped as Mag's hands dug into her flesh. "It's them." Mag's voice trembled. She pushed Shilo to the floor and bolted for the kitchen, feeling her way along the walls until she made it inside.

Shilo heard heavy footfalls tromping into the house. Her heart leapt into her throat. Mag was right; GeneCo had finally come for her.

"Bring out Blind Mag and nobody gets hurt!" A man's deep, deafening voice called out. Shilo ran after Mag, who had found the drawer where the kitchen knives were kept. She pulled out a long steak knife and clutched it, her hand trembling.

"They're coming." If there had been any color in Mag's face, it was gone.

Shilo grabbed a knife as well. It would be almost useless against whatever the GeneCops were carrying, but it made her feel safer.

The footsteps grew closer.

One glance at Mag's face revealed the real reason she had picked up a knife half a second too late. Shilo yelped, but was unable to stop Mag from slashing deeply at one of her wrists. "Magdalene, no!"

Four GeneCops stormed into the room, dressed in all black, masks covering their faces so they looked almost like Repo Men. Mag sliced her wrist again, bright rivulets of blood trickling to the floor.

"Take her," ordered one of the men.

Shilo brandished her knife. "Leave her alone! She hasn't done anything wrong!"

The one who had spoken stepped forward and slapped Shilo across the face. She reeled and fell, her knife clattering to the floor. By the time she had scrambled up, two of the GeneCops had Mag by the arms and were dragging her from the kitchen. Mag wasn't even bothering to struggle; she looked so white and weak and limp that Shilo was briefly terrified that her self-inflicted wounds had already killed her.

"Let her go!" Shilo hollered. "Stop!"

One of the men who was not transporting whatever was left of Mag drew his sidearm and pointed it at Shilo. She froze, staring blankly at the barrel. "Keep out of this if you know what's good for you."

Shilo remained in her place, trembling, until all four of the GeneCops were out the door. It was only then that the enormity of the situation struck her: Mag had just been forcibly taken from the house, undoubtedly to Amber, and almost certainly to a painful death at Amber's hands. Shilo raced out the door just in time to see one of the men unceremoniously fling Mag's spiritless body into the back seat of a GeneCop car. Even as the car started up, she kept running, kept screaming. She ran until her lungs burned and the GeneCop cars were out of sight and her body threatened her with an attack.

She had to get Mag back. That much she knew. Tired as she felt, hopeless as the situation was, she couldn't simply return to her house and fall asleep knowing that Amber was likely torturing Mag to death.

She couldn't ask for Graverobber's help, either. He looked like a grave-robber and had had plenty of close calls with GeneCo. If anyone near GeneCo Tower even caught sight of him, he'd be shot or at least apprehended, and she would run the risk of losing two people that night. And no help from Graverobber would mean she would have to walk.

So she'd have to hurry.

Shilo realized she was shaking as she raced back into the house and up to her room. She threw her skirt, vest and blouse to the floor, quickly pulling a pair of black leggings and a tight long-sleeved black T-shirt from her wardrobe. She wasn't sure why she was changing her clothes. Perhaps because characters in films who were trying to rescue someone always wore tight-fitting black clothing. She didn't care why, suddenly; dressed this way, she felt safer.

She took her lock-picking tools from under her bed. She doubted they'd be of any use getting her into GeneCo Tower, but it was worth a try. She tossed the tools into her bag with her medicine. The last thing she needed was to have an attack while she was trying to help Mag. She decided not to bring anything else; she couldn't think of anything she could use to bribe Amber Sweet to let Mag go. As the new GeneCo CEO, Amber would have anything she possibly could want or need.

Shilo made sure the house was locked before she left. She walked briskly, struggling to control her breathing. Thanks to all the walks she'd taken with Graverobber, she knew the way to GeneCo Tower. The walk took a painfully long time; with every step, her mind conjured up a new image of Amber torturing Mag.

The first few levels of GeneCo Tower were open to the public. They served as a sort of laudatory museum of GeneCo's history. Shilo wasn't interested in that, of course; she needed to get to the top level, where the CEO's office was (Mag had mentioned that and how much it made her hate the entire top floor). She found every elevator on the first floor and none of them that she had access to any floor above the fourth; one of them required an electronic key and denied her access entirely, and she could only assume that that elevator went all the way up to the top floor. So she took the elevator to the fourth floor and tried to find a staircase behind a locked door, as her lock-picking tools were useless against the electronic lock barring her from the elevator. Fortunately, she found one, a staircase marked "Employees Only"; as very few people were even in the museum at that hour and nobody was on the fourth floor, she dug through her tools and made a few attempts at cracking the lock. On her second attempt, she succeeded. The second the lock clicked, she flinched and tensed, expecting an alarm, but there was none. She slipped through the door and dashed up the stairs, stopping only once to take a pill when her heart began to race.

Shilo lost count of how many flights of stairs there were. By the time she made it to the top of the staircase, her head was spinning despite the pills that she had taken. For a moment, she sat beside the door, taking several deep breaths and struggling to calm herself. When she felt she could stand, she walked her hands up the wall to help herself up and tried the doorknob. Predictably, it was locked. She reached for her lock-picking tools, hands trembling; this time it took her three attempts because she kept dropping her homemade hook-pick.

The door opened to a long, spacious, gray-walled hallway. It looked exactly the same in both directions, with no indications as to which room might be Amber Sweet's office. She had no time to decide which way to try; two of the GeneCo henchwomen came marching in lockstep came down the hall straight toward her. One of them drew her sidearm and aimed it at Shilo; she flinched, but it was only the other henchwoman's hand on her compatriot's wrist that saved Shilo's life.

"She's trespassing," said the woman with her gun drawn coldly. "She obviously isn't supposed to be here."

"Miss Sweet should decide what to do with her," said the other henchwoman. "We would have brought a cute young woman to Mr. Largo, wouldn't we?"

Despite the utter monotone in the woman's voice, Shilo flinched. Judging from what Mag had said about the Largos, the statement was not at all a surprise, but she didn't want to think about it.

Without making the slightest facial expression, the first henchwoman holstered her sidearm and roughly gripped Shilo's shoulder. The other henchwoman took Shilo's other arm, and they frog-marched her down the hallway to a set of antique oak doors. One of them rapped on the door with her knuckles.

"I'm busy!" Amber howled from inside. Shilo felt her skin begin to crawl.

"Uninvited guest, Miss Sweet," said one of the henchwomen. "Pretty young girl."

There was a pause. Shilo thought she heard voices inside the room. One of them sounded as if the speaker was protesting. Then Amber spoke loudly again. "Send her in. Alone."

The henchwomen obeyed, swinging open one of the doors, shoving Shilo into the room and slamming the door behind her.

"Shit," said Amber. "You're that little brat, aren't you? The one who Daddy almost gave GeneCo to?"

Shilo nearly cried out at the sight that met her eyes. A few feet away from the CEO's desk, there was a heavy wooden chair, to whose front legs Blind Mag's ankles were bound with some kind of black electrical cord. Mag was slumped backwards over the chair's back, her hands tied together at the wrists, also with electrical cord. She was completely unclothed. Her eyelids were collapsed and inverted over empty sockets, and Shilo thought she saw blood dripping from one corner of her godmother's mouth. Amber was standing beside the chair, dressed only in pale pink lingerie, possessively stroking Mag's neck and, to Shilo's horror, Amber also had one hand buried in between Mag's legs.

Before Shilo could think of words horrible enough to say to Amber, Mag stirred, having heard the last thing that Amber had said. "Shilo?" she moaned.

"I'm here, Magdalene!" Shilo raced over. Amber gave her a rather amused glance and stepped back, as if to see what would happen.

Mag seemed to be shaking her head. "No…run…run away…"

"Shhh." Shilo wrapped her arms around her godmother; the woman's head lolled against Shilo's shoulder. "I'm here."

"So how do you two know each other?" Amber queried, affecting an imitation of a friendly conversation-starter while brutally pulling Shilo off of Mag.

Shilo hesitated before replying. If Amber had any inkling that Shilo was important to Mag, she would try to use that against both of them instead of letting Mag go. Shilo mentally kicked herself for the impulsive hug she had just given Mag. "She knew my mother," Shilo hedged.

"Wait…" Amber grabbed Shilo by the chin and examined her. "Oh, _God…_" Amber cackled. "She's Marni's brat, isn't she?"

Mag said nothing, but Shilo saw a tear leave a shining track down her cheek.

"You were fucking Marni, right?"

That startled Shilo; Mag had never said a word about a romantic relationship between herself and Shilo's mother.

"No," Mag whispered.

"Oh, yeah, she wouldn't do you…she was only into guys. A lot of different guys, though…slut."

"You're one to talk," Mag countered, sounding as if it took a massive effort to string the words together.

Amber slapped Mag across the face; Mag reeled and nearly fell from the chair. Shilo had seen Mag in that state; undoubtedly Amber had pumped Mag full of Zydrate to make her more helpless and pliable. A Zydrate gun lying on the desk beside several full cartridges of the drug proved Shilo's hypothesis correct.

"So are you fucking the little one, then, since you couldn't get her mom?"

"She's a child."

Amber snickered. "Like that stops anybody. And she's a cutie."

"Mag would never force me to do anything," Shilo cut in. Her voice was trembling so hard she could barely understand herself. Her feet felt as if they were glued to the floor.

"So you let Maggie fuck you, then?" Amber grinned. "Does this make you jealous?" She squeezed Mag's breasts, twisting and pinching. Mag made no attempt to stop her.

"Haven't you hurt her enough?" Shilo begged.

Amber ignored her. "Or do you like to watch?" She straddled Mag, whispering to the woman (no doubt something terrible), licking her ear, digging her nails into Mag's delicate flesh.

Shilo began to cry. "Stop it," she pleaded.

"She loves it, don't you, Maglet? Always so warm and wet for me…" Amber trailed her fingertips down Mag's belly, stopping (to Shilo's infinite relief) at Mag's navel; Amber looked contemplative for a moment, then beckoned to Shilo. "Come here. Feel. You might get her to scream for you." Amber stood up.

Woodenly, Shilo walked closer to Mag, pausing to stroke her godmother's bound hands. She noticed that the wrist that Mag had tried to slit was wrapped in bloody medical gauze.

"Go ahead. Despite how many people she's done, her cozy little squeeze box is still nice and tight. She should feel really good clamping down your sweet little hands." Amber leered at Shilo.

Shilo stepped as close to Mag as she could get, standing in front of her so Amber had no access to Mag's exposed body, and wrapped her arms around Mag again. "Don't give her any power," Mag whispered.

Shilo kissed Mag's cheek, afraid that replying would tip off Amber to the fact that Mag had just given her advice.

"You're no fun," Amber pouted, pulling Shilo away from Mag yet again.

"Please," Shilo begged. "She's my godmother. I don't have anyone else. She's blind now. She's not singing anymore and she's no threat to you. Please let me take her home!"

Amber tossed her head back and laughed outright. "We're having too much fun. Maybe you can have her back when I'm done, although she won't be much fun then unless you're into corpses."

"I have money," Shilo insisted, though she knew that was unlikely to sway Amber; maybe it would put her in a bargaining mood, though. "I inherited lots from my dad. I can give you whatever you want; just let Mag go!"

"Whatever I want?" Amber repeated. Mag strained against her bonds and whimpered.

Shilo forced down a nervous swallow. "Yes. What do you want?"

Amber tapped a long, silk-wrapped fingernail against her lower lip. Shilo shivered as a slow, wicked smile spread over Amber's face. "You."

* * *

A/N: *cue dramatic music*


	8. The New Face of GeneCo

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Eight: The New Face of GeneCo

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: I hope I don't make Shilo seem too competent. I know in the film she's about as useful as a box of hair.

* * *

Mag was the first to protest.

"No. Shilo, don't listen to her."

"Listen to your godmother-fuckbuddy, kid."

Graverobber called Shilo "kid." She hated that Amber was using that now.

"I'll only let her go if you're_ really_ willing to please."

Shilo's heart felt as if it were trying to batter its way out of her rib cage. "I need Mag to take care of me." She paused to take a deep breath. "I'd do anything for Mag."

Amber chuckled. "And you two tried to make me believe you hadn't fucked. It's so obvious."

Mag had given up verbally protesting and was pulling at the cord around her wrists with her teeth.

Amber strode over to Shilo and gripped the girl's backside tightly. "Are you willing to put out to save your beloved god-mom?"

Shilo glanced over Amber's shoulder at the Zydrate gun, praying it was loaded. Her plan might be ruined if it weren't. "Yes."

Mag cried out at if she'd been stabbed.

Amber pulled Shilo over to the desk, forcing her to lie down on her back. "Sorry you can't see me playing with your fucktoy, Maggie. It's okay, I can describe everything."

Mag said nothing; she was still using her teeth to attack the knot in the electrical cord restraining her wrists.

Amber pulled Shilo's boots off of her feet and expertly yanked off her leggings. Shilo found herself thanking every higher power that might potentially exist that her panties hadn't come off as well.

"She's luscious, Maggie." Amber ran her nails up the inside of one of Shilo's thighs. "Aren't you lucky, what with Marni giving you this pretty little piece?"

Shilo tremulously reached for the Zydrate gun, not daring to look away from Amber's face. Her instincts were good; Amber's eyes met hers, and the woman grinned perversely. "Don't look so scared, cutie. I don't bite…often."

Shilo heard Mag's voice again, much closer this time. "Yes, you do."

"What the hell?" Amber whirled around and suddenly howled in pain.

Shilo sat bolt upright. Her mouth literally fell open in surprise at what she saw; Mag had successfully untied her hands and crawled over to Amber, dragging the chair tied to her ankles with her, and was on her stomach on the floor, her teeth sunk into Amber's calf.

Amber wrenched her leg away from Mag, her foot striking Mag in the face; in the brief moment when Amber was distracted, Shilo seized one of the Zydrate cartridges, jammed it into the gun and buried the needle in Amber's neck.

Mag wiped her bleeding nose on the back of her hand. "And so do I. Don't touch my goddaughter."

Amber staggered backwards, fighting the effects of the drug. Shilo grabbed another vial of Zydrate, loaded it, and injected Amber again, this time in the leg.

The Zydrate took little time to take hold. Amber stumbled and fell to the ground beside the desk. Shilo loaded another dose—the last cartridge sitting on the desk—into the gun and spoke, despite the fact that her voice quavered so much she could barely make out her own words. "You have the dial on this set to a hundred microliters. I gave you two doses. If I give you any more, you die."

Amber groaned. "You little cunt."

"Call your henchgirls." Shilo's voice grew steadier. "Tell them you're letting me and Mag go, or I'll give you another hundred. I don't care how much of a hardcore addict you are, that should kill you."

"Go ahead, kill me," Amber taunted. "Your daddy was a Repo Man. Can't imagine how many people he killed. Did you inherit the killing gene too?"

"Your father made my father kill people. I don't have to share his choices. At least, not if you let me and Mag go." Shilo picked up a walkie-talkie from the desk and handed it to Amber. "Tell your henchgirls that you're letting me and Mag go, and they're not supposed to interfere."

"You suck," Amber whined, like a small child who had lost a game. But she took the walkie-talkie and muttered something into it.

"Speak up," said Shilo. "So I can make sure you're not telling them to kill us."

Amber glared at Shilo, or at least she tried; she was losing her coordination and ended up glaring at the air about twenty degrees to Shilo's left. She pressed the talkie's transmitter button and spoke as clearly as she could with her words being badly slurred by the drug's effects. "The two annoying cuntrags I've got in here are coming out. Don't shoot them or…or…" Amber's eyes rolled back and her head fell to the floor.

"Shilo?" Mag reached into empty air. Shilo ran to her, wrapping her in a tight embrace, cradling the back of her head in one hand; and as Mag struggled against the Zydrate to get her arms around Shilo, the girl's lips ended up pressed against Mag's mouth. It was an accident, but in a rush of relief Shilo couldn't stop herself from kissing Mag…and Mag kissed back, hard and searing and almost desperate, if a little clumsy.

"Are you okay?" Shilo stroked Mag's cheek.

"I felt that," Mag whispered.

Shilo remembered Amber saying she couldn't feel anything the first time she saw Amber shoot up. Were Mag's senses numbed too, and that was why she had remarked that she could feel Shilo's kiss?

"Shi, please tell me Amber didn't hurt you."

"No, you stopped her. She grabbed my ass, but that's about it."

Mag managed to get her arms around Shilo's neck and sat up halfway, her head resting on the girl's shoulder.

"Let's get you dressed," said Shilo gently.

"No." Mag gripped Shilo tightly. "Don't leave me."

"I just need to get your clothes," Shilo soothed. "I'll come right back for you. Do you know what Amber did with your eyes?"

"No. I don't think she destroyed them, though."

Shilo tried to get up; Mag clung to her. "It's okay, Magdalene. It's okay. I'll be right back."

Mag relinquished her grip on Shilo, and the girl got up and untied Mag's ankles from the chair before beginning to search for Mag's glass eyes. After a quick search, she found them in one of the desk drawers. "I found your eyes…but I think I should wash them before I put them back in."

Mag's clothes—a pair of loose sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt, along with her underpants—were lying in a corner. Shilo retrieved them and brought them back to Mag, who was still having trouble with her motor control, so Shilo had to help her dress.

"Please take me home," Mag begged.

"I will." Shilo kissed her godmother's forehead. "Can you get up?"

"I think I need your help."

"Okay. Just let me get my bag." Shilo slipped Mag's glass eyes into her bag and shouldered it. "Got it. Now I can help." Shilo looped Mag's arm around her shoulders and stood, helping Mag to her feet.

"Thank you, little one."

Shilo walked with Mag out the door and to the elevator, which the henchwomen were flanking. They apparently had listened to Amber's orders, as they did not interfere when Shilo pressed the down button.

Shilo called Graverobber while she and Mag were in the elevator.

"Kid? It's late. Is something wrong?"

"GeneCo got Mag. I'm bringing her out, but we'll need a ride home. She can't walk."

"I'll be right there."

"Are you going to pull up maybe a block away so nobody sees you?"

"Hell to the no. I'm coming right to you." He hung up.

"It's okay, Magdalene. Graverobber will pick us up."

"What did you do to Amber?"

"I gave her two hundred microliters of Zydrate. She passed out."

"Thank you." Mag turned her head and kissed Shilo's cheek. "Thank you, my little one."

The elevator reached the bottom floor. Shilo helped Mag through the lowest level, garnering a few stares from the few people still frequenting the GeneCo museum. Graverobber was waiting for them right outside the front door.

"What are you doing here? Somebody could have recognized you!" Shilo cried.

"Well, nobody did. Come on. Let me take her."

"Magdalene, Graverobber is going to carry you."

"Mm."

Graverobber swept Mag into his arms as if she weighed nothing and carried her to the stolen GeneCop car.

"Let her sit in the back with me," Shilo offered.

Graverobber nodded and deposited Mag on the back seat. Shilo climbed in after her, helping her lie down with her head in Shilo's lap. "Shi?"

"It's okay. We're going home."

Graverobber got into the driver's seat and put the car in gear. "Back to your house? Or did Amber do anything requiring a hospital visit?"

"Magdalene?" Shilo whispered.

"Get me home."

"Okay. Home it is," Graverobber. At the next red light, he turned around to glance at the sight in the back seat; Blind Mag with a bloody nose and lip, half-conscious in Shilo's arms. "Man. She is messed up."

"I'm right here," said Mag with just a touch of irony. Shilo couldn't help but chuckle.

"Amber gave her Zydrate," Shilo explained.

"What the hell were you thinking, barging in there alone?" Graverobber demanded. "You should have called me."

"I got Mag back on my own, didn't I?"

"Amber didn't hurt you, did she?" Shilo thought she heard concern creeping into Graverobber's voice.

"Well…she tried to…to molest me, actually."

Graverobber slammed on the car's brakes; the driver behind him honked. Graverobber whirled around in his seat so he could look at Shilo.

"What do you mean by '_tried'?_"

"I mean, she was about to, but Mag…well, Mag bit her. I injected her with a really high Zydrate dose while she was distracted and made her let us leave."

Graverobber returned to driving. "I am going to fucking _kill her._"

"You don't have to…"

"I mean it. The next time she comes to me for Zydrate, I am going to rip her useless throat out."

"Please do," Mag moaned.

Graverobber seemed to be fuming silently for the rest of the drive. When they pulled up to the Wallace residence, Graverobber parked the car and carried Mag into the house and up to Shilo's room. He still seemed to be scowling.

"What's wrong?" Shilo touched his arm as he laid Mag down on Shilo's bed.

He wrapped her in a tight hug. "I can't believe what that bitch Amber almost did to you. Well, I can believe it, but I still want to kill her."

"She didn't hurt me," Shilo protested.

"Not for a lack of trying," Mag observed.

Shilo smiled. "Yeah, she'll probably have Mag's bite mark in her calf for a week."

Graverobber gave her another squeeze. "Do you want me to hang around?"

"I think…I think I'd rather it just be Mag and me."

He nodded and gave her a quick kiss goodbye. "If you need anything, call me."

"I will."

He left, blowing her a kiss at the doorway; she sat down on her bed, stroking Mag's hair.

"Are you okay, Magdalene?"

"I'm quite far from 'okay', little one," Mag whispered.

Shilo kissed her godmother's forehead. "Do you need anything?"

Mag nodded. "I think I need a bath. I don't care how cliché it is. I just want to soak in the tub."

"Do you need me to help you get to the bathroom?"

"Please, Shilo."

Shilo wrapped Mag's arm around her neck and helped her up. They managed to get to the bathroom without too much trouble, as the Zydrate that Amber had given Mag had started to wear off. Mag sat cross-legged on a small rug in front of the vanity while Shilo ran a warm bath.

"Is that a good temperature?"

Mag dangled the fingertips of one hand into the tub. "Yes."

"Are you okay by yourself?"

Mag nodded.

"All right." Shilo left, closing the door behind her as Mag began slowly undressing. But of course, it was after only a few minutes that Shilo couldn't stand leaving Mag alone in the bathroom, so she knocked on the door. "Magdalene? Are you okay?"

"Shilo?" Mag's voice was weak. "Please come in."

Shilo came into the bathroom. Mag was sitting in the tub, halfway curled up with her arms over her chest. "What's wrong?" The question seemed completely inane after what Mag had been through that night, but it was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

"Will you help me?" Mag whispered, holding out a damp cloth in Shilo's direction.

Shilo swallowed. "You mean…you want me to wash you?"

Mag nodded.

Shilo hesitated for a moment. She wasn't sure it was appropriate for her to be so intimate with Mag so soon after Amber's vicious attack on her, but…she wasn't going to complain. So she walked into the bathroom and knelt next to the tub, taking the cloth from Mag. "Thank you," Mag sighed.

"You're welcome." Shilo took a hand towel from a bar attached to the wall, folded it, and stuffed it into one corner where the tub's rim met the wall. She guided Mag's hand to the towel so she could tell where it was. "Why don't you lie your head down here?"

Mag did, turning her head away from Shilo as if ashamed of what she had asked of the girl. Shilo wet the cloth and covered it with soap, unable to stop herself from stealing glances at Mag's undressed body. The former singer lay completely still, arms and legs lying limply at her sides. "Shilo?" Her voice was barely audible.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry…but this will help me feel much better…to have someone I trust…"

"I get it," Shilo said gently, leaning over to kiss Mag's forehead, the way Mag used to do for her. "I'll give you a bath."

"It sounds so foolish when you say it like that." Mag smiled weakly.

"Well, if it will help…" Unable to figure out exactly how to phrase the end of that sentence, Shilo instead set about gently but thoroughly washing Mag's body, starting from her neck and proceeding downward. She paid particular attention to the parts of Mag that Amber had tortured the most horribly, even gently massaging her breasts through the cloth and hoping that her touch could somehow erase the memory of Amber's abuse. Before tonight, Shilo had never seen Mag completely bare, and couldn't deny that she found Mag's body beautiful, but Mag was lying so utterly motionless that Shilo felt like she was washing a corpse. It was impossible to have any desirous thoughts about Mag when she seemed so vulnerable. She looked weak, hopeless, as if Amber's torture had finally broken her for good. "Magdalene?" Shilo finished scrubbing one of Mag's calves. "Could you sit up?" Shilo didn't quite hold her breath, but she still found herself feeling apprehensive, hoping Mag would have the energy to get up by herself.

Laboriously, Mag turned over and took a moment to get to her knees, shoulders hunched, making no effort to cover herself. Shilo pushed Mag's wet hair off of her shoulders to expose her back, pausing only to kiss her forehead again. She moved to run the cloth over Mag's back, but flinched at the sight of several plum-colored raised scars crossing the woman's shoulder blades. "What happened?" Shilo's voice trembled.

"Amber went through a whip phase."

Shuddering, Shilo began to lightly scrub Mag's back, trying not to stare at the ugly marks. After a few moments, though, Mag flinched away from the girl's cloth.

"Is something wrong?"

"Sometimes the scars tingle or hurt when they get wet." Mag's voice sounded completely flat, devoid of inflection or emotion.

"Okay. I'm sorry." Shilo continued her task, but focusing only on Mag's lower back where there were no scars. "Do you want me to wash your hair?"

Mag said nothing in reply, choosing instead to hug her knees to her chest, so Shilo decided to take the option that would make Mag's therapeutic bath last longer and took up the shampoo. Mag kept her eyelids down while Shilo washed, conditioned and rinsed her hair, and Shilo found herself wondering if Mag would still feel pain if she got shampoo in her eyes. "Magdalene?"

Mag didn't reply.

"Would you like to get out now?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Come here." Shilo took Mag's arms, helping her stand and climb over the side of the tub. She stumbled a little as one ankle collided with the rim, giving a stifled cry as she fell forward; Shilo caught her and hugged her dripping wet body tightly, whispering "I've got you. I've got you."

Mag clung to Shilo for a moment, then allowed the girl to help her kneel on a small rug in front of the vanity. "Here…" Shilo pulled a towel out of a cabinet underneath the sink and wrapped it around Mag's thin body. "I hope you're not too cold."

Mag shifted position to wrap the towel tighter around herself and properly sit down. "I am cold."

Shilo retrieved the hair dryer from the cabinet, plugged it into a wall socket, and set about drying Mag's hair, occasionally aiming the dryer at Mag's back or arms to keep her warm. Mag's hair was incredibly thick, so the drying took a while, but Mag never complained. When Mag's hair was dry, Shilo quickly fetched a nightgown from the wardrobe. "Here you go. You can put this on."

Mag stood in a stiff, disjointed way, as if she were so disconnected she had partly lost track of some of her limbs. Shilo helped her put on the nightdress, finding it somewhat like dressing a life-sized doll that was somehow half alive.

"You must be tired. Come with me."

Shilo helped Mag to the bed and laid her down.

"Shilo?"

"Yes?" Shilo climbed into bed next to Mag and draped an arm over her waist.

"Is there any Zydrate left?"

"Yes, there's plenty." Shilo mentally kicked herself; of course Mag would need extra help getting to sleep tonight. Before getting up, she asked, "Do you think you'll need more than usual tonight?"

"How much is left?"

"About…a thousand microliters. Why?"

"Please give me all of it. Or enough to ensure that I never wake up."

"What!" Shilo cried. "You want me to…to…kill you!"

Mag rolled onto her side and hugged Shilo gently. "I know this must be hard for you to hear, my sweet little one. And I appreciate what you did for me tonight. But…you haven't saved me, at least not permanently. Amber will be back for me, and this time she'll kill you too. The only way to stop it is for me to die."

"Don't say that," Shilo pleaded. "Please, Magdalene, don't say that."

"It's the truth. I'm sorry." Mag kissed Shilo's forehead. "Shilo, if you do this for me, I'll give you a kiss—a real one, on the lips, like I know you want—before you give me the shot."

"You really think I'd rather have you dead, having kissed you once, than have you alive?" Shilo heard her voice crack with emotion, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

"Shilo, I won't be alive. No matter what, I won't be alive. Don't you understand that?" Mag begged. "Either you end my life or Amber does, and with me dead before she makes another attempt on my life, you have a chance at…at escaping Amber's wrath."

"I can't kill you," Shilo wept. "I love you too much."

"I can give myself the shot," Mag offered.

Shilo buried her face in Mag's shoulder, unable to stop the tears from pouring down her face.

"Shilo, please. If anyone is going to end my life, I'd much rather it be me than Amber."

"Not tonight," Shilo whispered.

"What?"

"Do you really think Amber is going to come for you again tonight? Er, send people after you?"

"Probably not."

"Then…can I…can I sleep next to you one last time? I can give you the Zydrate shot in the morning. But please, not tonight."

"All right." Mag gave Shilo a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, little one." Shilo lay still, crying into Mag's shoulder, for a little while longer until Mag spoke again. "Shi? I still need an ordinary dose to sleep."

"Oh…of course. I'll get it." Shilo got up and loaded a vial into her Zydrate gun, which was already set at fifty microliters. "Here you go. It's only fifty microliters, so don't grab it from me and try to inject yourself with two hundred."

"I wouldn't do that to you." Mag extended her arm.

Shilo pushed the needle into one of Mag's veins and pressed the trigger button. Mag lay back down, beckoning with one hand for Shilo to join her. Shilo placed the Zydrate gun on a bedside table, quickly exchanged her leggings and shirt for a nightgown, and lay down beside Mag. She wrapped her arms around her godmother as tightly as she could, tucking her head under Mag's chin, struggling not to start crying again.

"It will be all right, Shilo," Mag soothed, pulling Shilo's wig from her head and stroking the skin underneath, which was now covered with black stubble. "You'll be all right. You don't need me as much as you think you do."

"We'll see," Shilo sniffled.

Mag kissed Shilo's forehead again. "Try to sleep, little one."

The Zydrate made Mag drift off quickly; Shilo was not so lucky. Come morning, she would wonder if she had slept at all.

* * *

A/N: I know, I know. Me and my cliffhangers.


	9. Staying With the Dead,Joining the Living

Something Real to Cling To

Chapter Nine: Staying With the Dead, Joining the Living

Summary: Thanks to Shilo, Blind Mag survives the Genetic Opera, although she still loses her eyes. Shilo is now alone…except for her now wounded godmother and the man who robs graves, sells Zydrate, and has an inexplicable interest in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Repo__!__ The Genetic Opera_, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.

Pairings: Shilo/Graverobber, Shilo/Mag

Author's Notes: LAST CHAPTER, GUYS.

* * *

Shilo's alarm ran at 7 AM, for that was the time when she needed to get up to go to work. Mag stirred a little; Shilo hastily turned off the alarm, then hugged Mag gently and whispered that she should go back to sleep. She scampered downstairs to phone Rube and call in sick. When she came back to her room, Mag was not only awake, but she had dressed in a striking deep blue gown and was combing her hair.

"Magdalene, you look beautiful!" Shilo cried out. "What are you doing awake?"

Mag said nothing for a moment; Shilo walked to stand next to her and squeezed her shoulder.

"There was no way I could get back to sleep."

"Here." Shilo took the comb from Mag and began running it through her godmother's silky hair, trying not to think about the fact that it would be the last time she did that. "Do you want me to put in your eyes?"

"No. You might want to sell them to someone else. Someone who survived an eye repossession and needs them."

Shilo struggled not to whimper. "What do you want me to do with your hair?"

"You can decide."

Shilo went to the bathroom and rummaged around for the hair toys she had bought for Mag since she had started working. She found several cobalt ribbons that matched the dress Mag had chosen and brought them back into the bedroom, where she brushed the long, glorious mane to a gloss and tied the ribbons around small gatherings of hair.

"You look so lovely." Shilo kissed Mag's shoulder. "Why are you dressed so nicely?" Shilo prayed that it had something to do with Mag changing her mind about dying.

"I suppose…I want to go out in style." Mag smiled grimly. "I'll be the prettiest corpse in the truck."

That time Shilo wasn't able to stop herself from whimpering. "I'm not putting you in the corpse truck. You deserve a proper burial."

"I wasn't aware such a thing existed in this city. Also, you might want to call Graverobber so he can get first crack at my brain."

"Don't talk like that!" Shilo wept, throwing her arms around Mag. "Please, Magdalene, don't talk like that."

Mag twisted around in Shilo's embrace to gently take her goddaughter in her arms. "I'm sorry, little one. Black humor helps me…come to peace with my death…with the fact that I've entered my aching hour. Please don't cry."

"I'll miss you," Shilo sobbed.

"I know, my darling. I know." Mag squeezed Shilo tightly and brushed her lips over the girl's forehead. "We should eat something. That will give us a little more time."

"Okay." Shilo sniffled.

"And I promised you that kiss." Mag gently touched Shilo's lips. "Let's go downstairs. And don't forget the Zydrate gun."

Shilo's hands were trembling so badly when she picked up the gun that she could barely hold it. She had to tuck it under her arm as she walked down the stairs with Mag, holding her godmother's hand.

"I feel like I should make something really special," Shilo mumbled as she sat Mag down at the kitchen table.

"You don't have to. Just something good." Mag paused. "I don't know how soon Amber might send her men after me."

Shilo nodded. "What would you like?"

"What do you call those English muffins you make with peanut butter and bananas…breakfast sandwiches, I think?"

"Sure."

Shilo set about toasting two English muffins, but for some reason she couldn't stand the silence in the room, so she switched on the TV and turned it to the news. While she was slicing the bananas, she heard something from the TV set that nearly made her miss the banana and cut her hand.

"…CEO of the megacorporation GeneCo found dead…"

"Shilo, turn it up." Mag's voice was tense, like a guitar string tightened to the verge of snapping.

Shilo scrambled for the remote and cranked the volume.

"Amber Sweet, née Carmela Largo, was discovered early this morning in an alley in the southern quarter of the city. A full autopsy has not been performed, but preliminary examination revealed that she succumbed to an overdose of Zydrate. Now, this confirms the widespread rumors that Miss Sweet—the mind behind the Zydrate support network—was herself an addict…"

Mag had one hand pressed to her mouth, muffling sobs of what Shilo could only assume was relief. Shilo wrapped her arms around Mag, breathless with the revelation that Amber was gone; Mag leaned on Shilo, clinging to the girl, pressing her face to the front of the girl's nightgown to stifle her noise.

"Amber's dead," Shilo whispered over and over. "Amber's dead. You're safe."

Shilo held Mag for a long, long time, until her tears finally subsided.

"It must have been Graverobber," Shilo noted softly. "He said he'd kill Amber. He must have deliberately overdosed her."

Mag said nothing; Shilo suspected that this would be the beginning of one of Mag's silent spells. She didn't care, though, not as long as Mag could live without fear now. Shilo kissed and stroked her godmother's hair, hoping that could be of some comfort. After a while, though, Mag seemed calm, and Shilo tried to pull away to call Graverobber and ask if it had indeed been him who had caused Amber to die. She gasped in surprise as Mag tightened her grip, squeezing Shilo tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere," Shilo soothed. "I just want to call Graverobber."

Mag permitted Shilo to slide out of her embrace, but still clung to one of Shilo's hands as the girl dialed Graverobber on her wrist communicator.

"Morning, kid. Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?"

"I wanted to stay home, because of…well, after what happened last night…"

"Should I come over?"

Shilo smiled at the undercurrent of concern in Graverobber's voice.

"I think…I think Mag and I will be okay. We just saw the news about Amber." Shilo paused. "Was that…was that you?"

"I said I was going to fucking kill her. I did."

Mag squeezed Shilo's hand.

"I think Mag wants to thank you," said Shilo, her smile widening.

"Tell her it was my pleasure."

"So…did you give her an overdose on purpose, or…?"

"It was a hot shot. Poisoned. I wanted to make sure that bitch was dead."

Shilo sighed shakily. "I owe you."

"It's nothing, kid. I take issue with people messing with my girl."

Shilo couldn't help but giggle at the fact that Graverobber had actually articulated a romantic relationship with her for the first time. "I have to make breakfast for me and Mag now. But…thank you. Thank you so much." Shilo never anticipated thanking someone for killing somebody else, but she felt it appropriate.

"You're welcome, Shilo. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Shilo terminated the link. "I really should finish making our breakfast," she noted to Mag, punctuating the sentence with a forehead-kiss.

Mag nodded and slowly released her hold on Shilo's hand.

Shilo said nothing as she laid out the placemats and silverware, knowing if she did speak she was unlikely to get a response. She paused in her work to admire Mag; one advantage to Mag's blindness was that Shilo could gaze at her all she wanted and Mag wouldn't notice her staring. The cobalt dress was cut high in front and low in back, so that Mag's entire back was exposed from neck to waist. After the previous night, Shilo mused, she would find it easier to stop herself from going to Mag and touching the uncovered skin. She'd gotten one kiss from Mag; that was enough.

"Shilo?"

Shilo nearly jumped at the sound of Mag's voice; she had, of course, noticed that normally when Mag fell silent, the silence could last for days. "Yes?"

"Will you come here, please?"

Shilo went to Mag, who stood and laid one hand on Shilo's cheek, brushing her thumb over the girl's lips. Shilo looked up at her curiously; Mag had promised her a kiss if she would give her the fatal Zydrate injection, but now Mag knew she could live without fear. So what was she doing?

Shilo got her answer when Mag leaned slowly forward and kissed her. It was a quick kiss, but it was kind and gentle and Shilo's senses clamored for more. Suddenly the one half-accidental kiss from the previous night seemed insignificant.

"I know this is isn't fair to you, and I'm sorry. To approach you like this after turning you down once…" Mag whispered, shattering any fear Shilo had that the kiss might be in exchange for Shilo's helping hand in Mag's death. "And what with you being in a relationship now…"

"No, it's fine!" cried Shilo. "Graverobber won't care if I'm…if I can't choose between you and him."

"I know it's wrong. But…I've fallen for you." Mag let out a noise that could have been a laugh or a sob. "Your mother would despair to see this."

"I think she'd want us to be happy." Shilo rested her hands on Mag's thin waist. "Magdalene…I love you."

"If you'll still have me…"

"Of course I will!"

Mag kissed Shilo again, and this time the kiss was fierce and sweet and Shilo felt her whole body grow warm with happiness. She embraced Mag tightly, moaning slightly as Mag bit down ever so gently on her Shilo's lower lip.

Mag broke the kiss suddenly. Had she been too forward? She'd rather die than be another Amber to Shilo… "I'm sorry."

Shilo kissed Mag instead of bothering to reply, and felt Mag's hands cup her face again. Shilo was more adventurous, running her hands up and down Mag's spine, savoring the feel of Mag's skin under her palms, and praying that Mag was enjoying the first consensual affection she'd experienced in years. That was all Shilo wanted, to give Mag the kindness she deserved...

It wasn't much later that the idea that Mag was wearing too much clothing made perfect sense to Shilo; she undid the tie of the dress at the nape of Mag's neck and pushed the sleeves down. Mag's only reply was to gently glide her hands down Shilo's sides, stopping at her hips. Distracted by her mission to trace every contour of Mag's back with her fingertips, Shilo was taken by surprise when one of Mag's hands moved beneath the hem of her shirt, rubbing the small of her back. She gave a little gasp and her heart, already racing with excitement, throbbed wildly; her knees buckled. Mag caught her. "Shilo? Are you all right?"

"Better than all right," Shilo whispered. "Don't stop. Please." _Magdalene, I just want to do this for you…_

Mag almost sighed with relief. Shilo actually returned her feelings of…no, Mag didn't want to say "lust"; that sounded violent, and Mag would never hurt Shilo. But whatever it was, it was mutual. Mag had forgotten that certain feelings could be mutual.

Mag carefully lowered Shilo to the floor and then, to Shilo's surprise, Mag was the one who lay down, and then draped Shilo over her. Shilo nuzzled Mag gratefully and kissed her over and over, unable to get enough. Shilo shifted her weight so her hips were resting between Mag's legs, and felt Mag's thighs press gently against her sides in response. "You're so beautiful, Shi." Mag's voice was heartbreakingly soft. "I wish I could see you…"

_Magdalene wants me! _The thought filled Shilo with a rush of happiness. She tightened her hands on Mag's waist, the will of her body deciding to take over for the will of her mind as her hips moved involuntarily, grinding against the other woman's slim frame. She sat up for a frustrating moment to yank her own shirt off, then immediately went back to kissing Mag. She pressed herself flush against her new lover, as if unable to get close enough to her.

Mag easily discerned what Shilo wanted. She hadn't intended for things to progress so far so quickly, but if Shilo wanted it…she was young, so, so young, but past the age of consent. And, most importantly, Mag trusted Shilo. She sat up, guiding Shilo onto her back and slipping the discarded shirt under the girl's head as a pillow. Seconds later, Mag's lips were on Shilo's neck, kissing her way down, but she had only reached the hollow between Shilo's collarbones when Shilo grew impatient. "Magdalene, please…_now_…"

"All right, my little one."

Mag trailed her parted lips down Shilo's belly, quickly dispensing with the girl's skirt and panties, even pushing the stockings down a few inches to nuzzle her inner thighs.

"Magdalene! Don't tease!" Shilo felt a familiar pressure on her lungs, painful, cautionary. She ignored it, because what Mag was about to do was much more important at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Shi, I just wanted to prepare you." Mag touched a tiny kiss to the join of Shilo's legs, earning a little cry in response, then took hold of Shilo's thighs and gently pushed her tongue into the girl.

"Ohh, Magdalene…" Shilo whimpered, burying her hands in the silky hair of the woman whose soft tongue was caressing her most intimate places. Her breath hitched and she struggled to get out another cry of Mag's name, but the only sound that escaped her mouth was a strangled whine. She panted, fighting for breath, but no air would enter her lungs. "Mag…" she could barely hear her own voice. She choked, and her head spun, blackness encroaching on the edges of her vision.

Barely half a second later, Mag had Shilo cradled in her arms and was kissing her face. "Breathe, Shilo! Relax. Breathe."

With Mag holding and rocking her, Shilo couldn't help but let her muscles unclench, and she felt air flow into her lungs again, and she was able to cry with shame and disappointment. She leaned her head against Mag's shoulder, which was now bare, mentally cursing her own body's weaknesses as she fought the impulse to kiss Mag's skin.

"Oh, Shilo, I'm sorry. I didn't know…your illness, I should have thought…"

"No, don't apologize, I wanted you!" Shilo wrapped her arms around Mag. "I wanted you."

"Why does everyone I touch out of love get hurt?" Mag whispered.

"No, Magdalene, it's not your fault. Please, please don't blame yourself. This wasn't…this wasn't GeneCo."

Mag said nothing.

"It's okay," Shilo insisted. "I'm getting better. Soon I'll be able to breathe fine all the time, and then we can…"

"No." Mag cut her off. "You're too young. For this, anyway." _Not to mention I don't think I'm...ready...for this sort of thing..._

"I'm almost eighteen," Shilo begged. "When I'm eighteen? Please?"

Mag sighed painfully. "Shilo, I'm broken. I'm damaged goods. How can you possibly...?"

"I love you." Shilo kissed Mag's cheek. "Please don't ask me how it's possible. I just know I love you."

There was a long pause. "All right." Mag hugged Shilo closer.

"Can you be my eighteenth birthday present?" Shilo whispered.

"I don't have to be your present, Shi." Mag stroked the silky dark stubble that was beginning to grow on Shilo's head. "I'm already yours."

Shilo rested her head against the curve of Mag's throat, savoring the softness of her lover's skin. Her entire upper half was bare, as was Mag's, and the tender flesh of Mag's torso was pressed warmly against Shilo. It was exquisitely comfortable. There was no texture, Shilo was learning, quite as delicate and lovely as a woman's skin.

It seemed as though Mag was learning the same thing. "Oh, this is nice…" Mag breathed, holding Shilo to her. Shilo could have sworn she felt Mag's hand trembling as it passed over her back. "Mmm…"

Shilo kissed Mag's neck. "Magdalene…I think breakfast can wait."

"I'd have to agree," Mag whispered. They helped each other up and Shilo kissed Mag gently.

"Let's go back to my room." Shilo took both of Mag's hands. "Come with me." Shilo led Mag up stairs, through doors, underneath bed-sheets. Mag wrapped Shilo in a tight embrace, Mag's head tilted back with Shilo's face resting against her neck, Mag's breasts pressed to Shilo's thin chest, legs entwined.

"Shilo…oh, Shi…" Mag's voice was barely audible.

"Are you comfortable? Magdalene?"

"So comfortable…" Shilo caressed the blades of Mag's shoulders with her free hand, earning a soft moan in response. "I love you so much, little one."

Shilo trembled at the quiet intensity in Mag's voice. "I love you too."

* * *

Breakfast could indeed wait, but not forever. After a while, the empty growling of both their stomachs forced them to release each other from their warm embrace, dress again, and proceed downstairs for food. Since it was closer to lunchtime, Shilo simply reheated the rice cake soup Mag had made the previous night. They were at the table eating (seated right next to each other, with Shilo pausing every few bites to kiss Mag's cheek) when Graverobber knocked on the door (which unfortunately was still hanging on its hinges after the previous night). Mag tensed slightly until they heard Graverobber's voice: "It's Graverobber. Nobody panic."

"We're in the kitchen!" Shilo called.

Graverobber had been inside the Wallace house enough to know where the kitchen was. Shilo leapt up to greet him when he came into the room, and he hugged her tightly. "You okay, kid?"

"I'm fine."

He turned his attention to Mag, his arm still around Shilo's neck. "So, Mag. How are you holding up?"

"Well enough," Mag replied, and the usual frostiness with which she spoke to Graverobber was gone. She stood up and walked in the direction from which Graverobber's voice had come; he went to her. Despite her lack of sight, she turned her face up to speak to him. "You saved my life," she said simply. "By killing Amber, you made it so Shilo and I can live without fear."

Graverobber was very much not used to being spoken to that way. Casual flirting he could do, and flattering women (or the occasional man) was incredibly easy. But being told he had saved someone's life was something with which he had not had practice. "Yeah, uh…she was one of my best customers, but not if she's going to after Shilo. Or…or somebody she cares about, I guess…"

Mag hugged him.

Both Shilo and Graverobber stood stock-still for a moment, dumbfounded. It was unlike Mag to show such affection, except toward Shilo. But eventually, Graverobber put his arms around Mag; after all, it wasn't every day that one got to embrace the legendarily beautiful Blind Mag. It occurred to Shilo that Mag looked remarkably frail in comparison to Graverobber's well-muscled arms and wide shoulders. "Thank you," Mag whispered, her voice quavering.

Shilo threw her arms around both of them and found herself immediately drawn into the embrace by both of her lovers. Her face ended up pressed against Mag's neck, which she kissed gently, but after a while she couldn't breathe and had to wriggle free. At that point, Mag and Graverobber broke apart, rather awkwardly; Shilo took Mag's hand to alleviate the unease.

Graverobber smirked. "So, Mag, you finally came to your senses."

Mag's eyebrows furrowed. "In terms of what?"

"He means this," Shilo explained, planting a firm kiss on Mag's mouth at the end of her sentence.

The only thing Graverobber could think to say after that was, "Holy _shit._"

Blushing, Mag tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear before addressing Graverobber again. "Graverobber, do you actually have a home?"

The question startled him, but this time he answered promptly. "I…have a place where I crash."

"He won't bring me there," Shilo added. "He says he 'won't take me to that crap hole.'" Graverobber had actually said something worse than "crap hole", but Shilo decided to censor that.

"Well, if your place of living is that unsatisfactory, you could stay here," Mag offered.

Both Graverobber and Shilo gave Mag startled looks.

"Magdalene, do you mean it?" Shilo's eyes were wide.

"It's a large house," Mag pointed out. "And with me and Shilo sharing a bedroom, there's one open."

Graverobber's eyebrows went up at the first clause.

Shilo was grinning ear to ear. "So, what do you say?"

Graverobber thought about that for a moment. "It's a nice offer. But this house…" He gestured around him. "It's too rich for me. Not my kind of place. I don't fit in here. Besides…" He winked at Shilo. "I'll give you two your privacy."

Mag found herself hating how easily her pale complexion could blush. "Well, you will always be welcome here, particularly if you are on the run. After all, I owe you my life."

Graverobber extended his right hand. Mag, of course, didn't notice.

"Magdalene, I think Graverobber wants to shake your hand," Shilo prodded.

"Ah." Mag held out her right hand.

Shilo grinned suddenly. "Hey, Graverobber, are you going to make her spit-swear like on the streets?"

Mag raised her eyebrows. "Spit-swear? Really?" Mag spat delicately into her hand and proffered it again.

Struggling not to laugh, Graverobber also spat into his palm. "Offer accepted." He shook Mag's hand, but almost instantly gave a guttural yelp and pulled away. "_Unclean! _Shit, Mag, you spit like a demon!"

Mag burst out laughing. "Of course I do. I sing opera."

Graverobber eyed Shilo and Mag suspiciously. "Is that, like, a thing?"

Mag smiled wickedly. "Oh, I don't know. I might just be teasing you. You could, of course, ask Shilo." With that, she kissed Shilo again, long and deep.

Graverobber pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed under his breath. He was not going to be able to get that image out of his head, and would probably have to do something about that. Most likely the second he got home. "Okay…this is a little too fucking weird. I think I'm going to head out."

"Okay," Shilo agreed, but Mag gave Graverobber a knowing, almost smug smile.

The smile soon vanished, though, and then Mag said seriously, "Thank you. I never thought I'd thank someone for murder, but I would call Amber's death something more like justice."

Graverobber gave Shilo a goodbye kiss and Mag a goodbye handshake (without spitting this time), then departed almost hastily. It was all Mag could do not to laugh.

Shilo slipped an arm around Mag's waist. "I've never seen you joke like that."

"There's a simple explanation for that," Mag replied, twisting slightly to wrap Shilo in her arms. "This is how I act when I'm happy."

Shilo stood on tiptoe and pecked Mag a kiss. "I hope to see you like this more often?"

Mag smiled warmly. "As long as I have you, I'm sure you will." She kissed Shilo again, and it was a long, long time before they broke apart.

* * *

A/N: I bet if Graverobber had seen Firefly, he'd be saying "I'll be in my bunk."

I wasn't really sure how to end this, but…holy shit, it's done! Took me…what, about ten months? Yeah, something like that; maybe a little longer. Hope everybody enjoyed it. And yeah, I wanted GR to have a role other than his usual lurking purposes and being a love interest for Shilo, particularly because he doesn't do his whole narrator thing. So, he'll save the day by killing Amber.


End file.
